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Saturday, June 22, 2024
HomeTrip DirectoryDespacito! TPOL Moves to Puerto RicoHouse Hunters Puerto Rico: Bored in Beautiful Bahia Beach

House Hunters Puerto Rico: Bored in Beautiful Bahia Beach

Bahia Beach is part of the Despacito! TPOL Moves to Puerto Rico Trip Report. Catch up on the past episodes.


Behind the Scenes

Producer: This annoying TPOL hates everywhere we take him. I don’t think he’s worth having on the show anymore. I also don’t think he can afford to buy any of these places anyway. Let’s show him Bahia Beach so he can see one of the best-kept courses on the island. Then we’ll tell him how much houses cost there.

On Set – Bahia Beach, 45 Minutes East of San Juan

Host: Good morning, TPOL, we thought we would take you out for a round of golf at Bahia.

TPOL: It’s a quick drive from San Juan to Rio Grande but it takes an eternity to get to Bahia Beach. Why are there so many damn speed bumps when you turn off the freeway?

HostMumbling. Here we go.

TPOL: Your mic is on.

Host: You ready to tee off? I suggest putting the driver away. Unless you’re a sure shot, you’ll lose plenty of balls today.

TPOL: Get ducked.

Host: Your mic is on.

TPOL: I know.

The Course

This course is beautiful. It is perfectly maintained like Dorado Beach. The course is also difficult to play. The host was not lying about losing golf balls. I could play here everyday but it would also be fun to have more than one course if I’m going to be here for the rest of my life. a golf course with trees and a cloudy sky a golf course with trees and a blue sky a golf course with trees and a cloudy sky a golf course with palm trees a palm trees on a golf course

The Homes

Rumor has it that one of the holes became a par 3 because the owner of a mansion wanted a bigger house. If you’re not a millionaire, Bahia is not the place for you. If you are a millionaire, rumor has it that there’s a competition about who can build the most lavish home with amenities that no person really needs. a golf course with palm trees and a house a large lawn with palm trees and a building

The Clubhouse

The clubhouse was a bit smaller than I expected. a room with a bench and lockers

The Pool

The pool for members was very nice but empty.a pool with chairs and umbrellas a pool with palm trees and chairs

The Beach

It was a windy day so it’s hard to gauge if the water is always that choppy and murky. a pool with palm trees and a beach

The Atmosphere

And here’s what it comes down to. Bahia Beach has no atmosphere. It is a literal tax haven for people who want to park their money in huge houses. I am looking for a community, a place to mingle. Bahia Beach is not that place. Bahia Beach is also home to the St. Regis Bahia. While I love that brand, I could not deal with that ambiance every day for the rest of my life.

The Nightlife

There is golf. There is a beach. Two out of three prerequisites for my home search were met. There’s definitely and most certainly no nightlife in Bahia. People come here to get away and stay away.

The Verdict

No Bahia for TPOL.

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