TPOL is back to blogging (see Simply The Best: May 2022). A great way to resume is by doing what I do best: complain. The CDC is expected to announce that it will no longer require testing for those entering the country. I have been saying for years that this requirement is stupid and irrational (see COVID Test for Return Travel Is Stupid & COVID Test to Come Home Is S-T-U-). Well, the nonsense is finally ending. I hope the testing schemers made enough money off of this garbage. Personally, I would like to ask for a refund for the tests that I did last week before coming back to the US. I was tempted to fake the results but was scared of losing my Global Entry.
Let there be no doubt. This policy is not being rescinded to help the ailing economy and not because they are ‘following the science’, a phrase that I used to believe meant something.
CDC Suspends Testing Requirement: Where’s My Refund?
Simply The Best: May 2022
TPOL was out of the office (see [OUT OF THE OFFICE]: TPOL’s Going Home to Iraq). But I’m back from Iraq and ready to golf again. Here is the best of May.
3. Guns & Butter: Milan Travel Guide
[OUT OF THE OFFICE]: TPOL’s Going Home to Iraq
![[OUT OF THE OFFICE]: TPOL’s Going Home to Iraq](https://thepointsoflife.boardingarea.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/wp-1652210489658-768x1024.jpg "[OUT OF THE OFFICE]: TPOL’s Going Home to Iraq")
I leave on my trip (see 25,000 Mile RTW Trip Including Iraq Booked!). I will be back in mid-June. Follow me on IG, @thepointsoflife, in the interim as I won’t be posting regularly, if at all.
easyJet: The World’s Best Low-Cost Carrier
easyJet is part of Punxsutawney TPOL Trip Report.
I have flown many discount carriers in my day. My favorite Asian discount carrier is AirAsia because I was able to see most of SE Asia for next to nothing. My favorite in the US is Southwest, because of the Companion Pass and free checked bags. My favorite in Europe and, after this trip, in the world is easyJet. I first flew easyJet in 2015 and had a decent experience (see easyJet: Know Before You Go). I didn’t know then just how easy it was to fly with them if you pay nominal money to become a speedy boarder. What are the benefits of being speedy boarder? First, it is priority boarding. This is huge when it comes to discount carriers in Europe because airlines do not post the gate until close to departure time. Once the gate is announced, there’s a long queue of people trying to get into the gate, only to queue again to get on the plane. Speedy boarders don’t have to deal with those lines. Second, speedy boarders receive seats near the front of the plane or in emergency exit rows. The seats on easy aren’t luxurious. It’s worth paying for a more comfortable seat and it’s worth being the first on and the first off. Third, speedy boarders can bring a personal item and carry-on without having to pay big fees at the airport (see 100 GBP Carry-On Bags? Scammed by Ryanair & Trips.com).
In Search of the Priority Pass Milan Malpensa Airport
Priority Pass Malpensa Airport is part of Punxsutawney TPOL Trip Report.
We took the train to MXP and spent the next hour wandering the airport searching for a lounge. The first was located in the non-Schengen area. Since we were flying domestically, it was inaccessible. The second was conveniently located near our gate but closed due to Covid. The third was open and in the right terminal but was a twenty minute walk to our gate.
Given the time and energy wasted, we didn’t have much time at the lounge. It was a place to re-hydrate and stock up on food for our late arrival in Catania where, unlike Milan, there would be no restaurants open (see Late Night Bite in Milan).
“Tickets, Please, Tickets”: Train Anxiety
Train Anxiety is part of Punxsutawney TPOL Trip Report.
The train is my favorite method of transport. Here are some examples of why that is:
- America Needs More Trains! Amtrak DC-Williamsburg Review
- The Great Train Adventure to Machu Picchu
- Palermo to Catania, Go by Train
- Take the Train to St. Petersburg!
- The Oriental Express to Chiang Rai
On this trip, in Copenhagen, I was worried because I only had one ticket for two passengers. Before boarding the train, I asked the information desk if this covered both people. It did. Sure enough, I was stopped by the inspector who double-checked that my single ticket was for two people. 1/1.
From both Manchester airport to the Hyatt Manchester and from Manchester to Conwy, the conductor announced that this train was only for a certain type of ticket. Again, I was anxious when the ticket man came around. He scanned the ticket and moved along. I was 3/3.
Overall
Train anxiety is real. And so are the fines if something goes wrong. Beware.
Guns & Butter: Milan Travel Guide
Guns & Butter: Milan Travel Guide is part of Punxsutawney TPOL Trip Report.
TPOL’s Guns & Butter Travel Guide is the best way to see as much as you can in as little time as possible. Here’s how it works – A trip is composed of two factors: Labor And Lazy. The opportunity cost (what is given up) for relaxing and being Lazy is gained by being adventurous in the form of Labor and vice versa. The guide includes inefficient activities i.e., tourist traps that should be avoided and aspirational activities that are worth doing but may be impossible to see given the constraints of time and resources.
Milan is a great city. Everyone is so fashionable. I feel like a bum each time I am there because I never have my tailor-made suit and tie (see Fabric Market Shanghai Prices: How to Bargain (2019 Edition). My ragged appearance does not stop me from taking in the sights, treating myself to fancy dinners, or staying at top-end hotels. Here’s what I have done: Stay If you’re here for one night, the Hyatt Centric is acceptable.
If you’re here to experience Milan, splurge for my favorite Park Hyatt, the Park Hyatt Milano (see Let Me Live Here, Please).
See
-
- The Park Hyatt is steps away from the following:
- Duomo di Milano
- Sforza Castle
- Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II
While it is beautiful in the day, it is best experienced at night (see Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II: Go At Night).
Drink
Nothing says Italy like espresso and negroni (see Negroni! Social Drinking in Milan & Espresso Bar Italy: Nothing Better).
- Fancy Lunch
- Pop Up Bars
Food
From late night to tourist to everything in between, there’s no shortage of places to eat in Milan (see Food in Milan: Tourist Places But Great Nonetheless)
- Late Night
Another choice is Le Capannelle which is located on Viale Papiniano, a great name for a street.
- Tourist
That’s not to say that the wine and food were not top notch.
Local
- Latteria di San Marco: Though I’ve never been, I have it on local authority that I missed out.
Hyatt Centric Milan: Cert Worthy?
Hyatt Centric Milan Hotel Review is part of Punxsutawney TPOL Trip Report.
Getting There: From LIN, I took the bus. To MXP airport, I took the train (see “Tickets, Please, Tickets”: Train Anxiety).
TPOL’s Tip: Like many big cities, the area around the central bus/train station is not the best at night. Stopping for a beer on the way to the hotel was a mistake given the unstable patrons.
The age-old question: you have one night in a city and a late arrival. Do you burn points on a nice hotel that you will not enjoy besides the bed?
Points’ philosophers have been pondering this question for years. I faced it en route to Catania to buy a villa (see Nothing to Rent in Tuscany, But Maybe I’ll Buy a House in Italy) vila Milan. With a stay certificate set to expire in 3 months, I booked the Hyatt Centric Central Milan. 
Globalist
Although I had hit Globalist by staying at the Hyatt Regency Manchester, my status had not kicked in. I did not receive an upgrade and had to beg for a 4PM checkout.
Room
The room was what I expected for a 15k a night Hyatt.
Bathroom
Location
The hotel is a five-minute walk to the train station, a six-minute walk to my lawyer’s office (see 1 Euro Italian Villa: Would She Be Mine?), and a five-minute walk to late-night restaurants (see Late Night Bite in Milan).
View
Overall
I arrived late. I woke up late. I went to lunch and returned for a siesta. While I didn’t get to enjoy the amenities of the hotel apart from the location, I still conclude it was a good use of points only because it was an expiring stay certificate. However, if I return to Milan, there’s only one place to stay: the Park Hyatt (see Let Me Live Here, Please).
1 Euro Italian Villa: Would She Be Mine?
1 Euro Italian Villa is part of Punxsutawney TPOL Trip Report.
I was going a little crazy sitting on the beach in Puerto Rico for the last 17 months (see The Lost & Found Year(s): COVID Trip Report). I had read about the 1 euro houses in Italy for the past few years and thought that if there was a time to buy one, it would be now (see Nothing to Rent in Tuscany, But Maybe I’ll Buy a House in Italy). This was especially true because Castiglione, a town near Mr. Etna, Sicily where I had previously been and rather enjoyed (see Mount Etna, Sicily Wine Tour: Fun & Games Until Police Stop) had places for sale. Simultaneously, I had grown tired of hiding in the basement and needed a way to transition from the Lost & Found Year(s) to the Punxsutawney TPOL Trip Report that had many false starts up to this point (see No Vegas for TPOL). The first step in the process was sending in my application for consideration. I received an automated response and over the course of a few months continued to receive automated responses. I contacted my friend in Milan, an Italian lawyer, and asked him to call the town. The only feedback he received was that everything is on the website. Periodically, I would check the website and of course, there was nothing useful on there. After months of talking both about buying a villa and about traveling, I decided to stop talking and start doing (see Leaving My Basement ). The plan was a few days in Ribera del Duero, near Madrid, for wine tasting (see Guns & Butter: Ribera Del Duero, Madrid Travel Guide (Vino Edition)), followed by a flight to Catania, Sicily to tour the area. As a procrastinator, I didn’t book my flight to Sicily ahead of time. When I landed in Madrid, I checked the flights to Catania. They were expensive and inconvenient. I decided to change the plan and hop from city to city until I found a cheap flight to Italy. With each stop, I ended up further away from my prospective new hometown: Denmark, Northern Ireland, Scotland, England, and Wales. At the same time, the inconvenience of traveling during Covid began to take its toll. From scam testing (see Scam Covid Test #1: Entering the UK & Scam Covid Test #2: Leaving the UK) to arduous passenger locator forms, I began to think that the universe was telling me to give up on this idea. Indeed, it wasn’t until I randomly decided to go to Wales (see Guns & Butter: Conwy, Wales Travel Guide) that I found a cheap flight to Italy. Of course, this required another Covid test and another form. Persistent or hard-headed, I finally made it to Milan and met with my Italian lawyer. We went to lunch where he advised me that this was a stupid idea. While he confirmed that homes were being sold fold next to nothing, he warned that I would be living in a town stuck in the past. He described a slow, laid-back lifestyle where urgency was not a priority. He added that the process of buying a place would be anything but simple. Since this sounded exactly like life in Puerto Rico, I was not intimidated. I decided to press forward. Thanks to my sleuthing, I found the contact information for the mayor of Castiglione. My lawyer called him and made the arrangements to meet with me upon my arrival. Perhaps I had misread the cards. Perhaps it was my destiny to own a villa in the Mediterranean after all.
Late Night Bite in Milan
Late Night Bite is part of Punxsutawney TPOL Trip Report.
TPOL’s Tip: Upon arriving to a new city, proceed with urgency to the hotel. You don’t know how a few minutes wasted can affect an evening (see all TPOL’s Travel Lessons here).
I arrived in Milan at 9PM. The Hyatt Centric Centrale is one hour by bus. Instead of going right to the hotel, I thought it was cute to stop by a small bodega for a beer located in the square of the central train station. Not only did I encounter questionable characters but also found myself walking around central Milan with an open container, wondering if it were illegal as it is in the US.
When I finally arrived at the Hyatt, I was hungry but it was 10:30PM. I was told of a nice restaurant around the corner that closed at twelve. I was told that I could leave my bags and check-in after I went for a late dinner. Since I wasn’t going to be long in the room, I thought I had plenty of time. It was not until I got to the room that I realized that my watch did not sync to the new time zone. It was in fact 11:30PM.
Despite arriving at 11:40PM, I was told that the kitchen was closed. As we wandered around the city, we were turned away from one restaurant to the next. With only one night in Milan, I began to curse my decision to stop for a beer and lament my failure to account for the change in the timezone as Milan is one hour ahead of Manchester.
Finally, we came across a restaurant with a red awning that said ‘Grill’ & ‘Hamburger’. With no other choices, we decided to give it a try. Since we did not have a green QR code and since they did not understand that our US vaccine card was technically sufficient, we were forced to eat outside. Fortunately, it was a warm evening and there were space heaters.
TPOL’s TIP: The location is Via Ruggero Boscovich, 22, 20124 Milano MI, Italy.
On the one hand, wine, cheese, and pasta bolstered my belief that I could live in Italy. On the other, the inflexibility with time and the hassle of the QR code reminded me of Puerto Rico, undercutting my belief that I would want to live in Italy.
