Mont Bar Barcelona: Am I Michelin Material?

Mont Bar Michelin Barcelona is part of the Gold Medal Trip Report.
I know about food but am not a foodie and I despise that word. When my friend who is as sarcastic as I am invited me to go to a Michelin-star restaurant in Barcelona, I accepted because I knew it would be a laughing good time. Indeed, it was. My prior two Michelin experiences were not the pompous, over-the-top experience one would expect when overpaying for sustenance (see Punk Royale Copenhagen: Michelin Restaurant on Acid & see Michelin Sushi Tenerife: $375 Worth Spent??). While the vibe of this place was more reserved, it did not detract from the enjoyment of the evening.a white napkin on a plate In addition to great company, the food was tremendous. Unfortunately for Mont Bar and the chef, I cannot describe how delicious the food was. Half of the ingredients used to describe what I was eating were foreign to me, despite being presented in English. Worse still, I know that these photos do not capture the art, sophistication, and extravagance of such a meal. a menu on a black leather coverTPOL’S Tip: Skip the overpriced Wagyu but be prepared to deal with the waitress’s disappointment should you do so. TPOL’s Tip: Do not order the wine pairing at a Michelin restaurant. You will get too hammered to enjoy the nuances of the food consumed. All I could do was try to keep a straight face while the brigade of waitresses came by to explain what each item was. With each course, we were instructed in which order to consume each part of the composition. “We recommend you start with X and then follow it with Y.” I asked what would happen if I defied her orders. Would the common man miss the experience if he had the Y before the X? Would the waitress be offended? Would the chef be aghast? food on a napkin a plate of food with a flower on top a group of food on a white surface a plate with food on it a close up of food a round object with a crumb on it a plate of food with flowers on it food on a plate a white bowl with yellow liquid and black dots a plate of food on a table a cooked shrimp on a pile of salt a plate of food on a table a round brown object with white powder on it a bowl of fruit and berries a plate of desserts on a table It took until the second to last dessert for me to go rogue. My order of operations was wonderful, leaving me to wonder if it would have been better had I followed the instructions.
a tray of desserts on a table
Supposed to go from closest to furthest.
Deep Thought If you’ve seen the movie The Menu, it will change your perspective of going to Michelin restaurants. It will also make you second-guess whether your compulsion of photographing and now filming (see DJI Store Barcelona: A Great Upgrade for an Unpublished Vlog) should be outlawed much like it is at comedy shows. Should we go to enjoy the performance and leave the b/v-logging at the door? TPOL’s Tip: Mont Bar is located at Carrer de la Diputació, 220, L’Eixample, 08011 Barcelona, Spain Overall The cost of this foray into culture was 340 euros for two. Given the laughs, the food, and the experience, it was money well spent.
a building with a sign on the front
Are you Mont Bar material?

DJI Store Barcelona: A Great Upgrade for an Unpublished Vlog

DJI is part of the Gold Medal Trip Report.
Why isn’t TPOL famous? It’s not because I am not original. It’s not because I am not funny. It’s not because people do not like me (see Happy Festivus! Airing of Points Grievances 2023). It’s because people do not read. Years ago, I contemplated starting a YouTube channel, but it did not make financial sense (see TPOL’s Way Out of Poverty Is Not Vlogging). Years ago, I bought a drone but did not use it (see VIDEO: SkyDio 2 Inaugural Flight: Rio Mar, Puerto Rico). Years ago, I also purchased a DJI Pocket 2 and, like the drone, did not use it (see DJI Pocket 2: The Compliment to My SkyDio Drone). So why haven’t I given up on this initiative? Because the world needs to see me. And when they see me (in 4K), they will read me. There are many obstacles to my success. First and foremost is my inability to edit content. Years ago, I deviated from common sense and bought Apple. I thought Final Cut Pro would bring out the Academy Award director in me. $3544.57 later, Ms. TPOL uses the machine to write papers and create spreadsheets. This time, instead of doing it myself, I hired a professional film producer. The producer asked what ‘gear’ (technical jargon for those of us in the industry) I was using. It reminded me of the scene from Catch Me If You Can. I mentioned that I had a Samsung Z5 Flip and a DJI Pocket 2. I also told him that I could not use my phone to film myself because I despised those people and would have to kick my own ass if I became one of them. With minimal instruction, I went on my first trip as a vlogger to carnival in St. Lucia (see They Call Me Mr. Fete: St. Lucia Carnival Intro ). The footage was abysmal but I had no interest in giving up. My second stop as a vlogger was Barcelona. I meekly walked the streets with my DJI Pocket 2 with a microphone on my shirt hoping that no one would notice. While sucking as a cinematographer and simultaneously making strangers uncomfortable (see Creeper Cam Is Back: Alexander Bachuwa Launches the Vlog), I also realized that my ‘gear’ sucked as well. Anyone want to buy a Pocket 2? I told my producer that I was keen on buying the DJI Pocket 3. I Googled ‘DJI Pocket 3 Barcelona’ and in a a moment of serendipity learned of the DJI store in Barcelona. Not worried about the ROI of this venture, I left the overhyped Barceloneta Beach beach (see Guns & Butter: Barcelona Travel Guide) and made my way to the mall. $800 later I have the best gear that money can buy. I look great in 4k. Disclaimer: If you’re reading this post in October 2024, you will see this: Disclaimer: If you're reading this in October 2024, there's probably no content up as we are in post-production. Disclaimer: If you’re reading this in 2025 and you still see that, then I have failed at this undertaking. Sales Pitch: If you’re an optimist, you can find the vlog for Alexander Bachuwa’s, aka the #masterofwon, here.

Simply The Best: September 2024

I was here for half of September. I was gone for the rest. Here’s the best:
  1. Creeper Cam Is Back: Alexander Bachuwa Launches the Vlog
    a man holding a camera
    Although TPOL loves writing about travel, there’s more to Alexander Bachuwa than points. Accordingly, I have started a YouTube channel appropriately named Master of Won.
  2. Grand Hyatt Barcelona: Good, Bad, & Annoying
    people in a pool
    Grand Hyatt BCN was one of those hotels that I expected to be great. In the end, there was good, there was bad, and there was annoying.
  3. Guns & Butter: Andorra Travel Guide (Country Count Edition)
    a street with flags on the side of a building
    Am I the cultural attaché to Andorra? Hardly. Is it worth going? Of course.
  4. I Missed My Ride: Not So ‘Direct Bus’ Andorra
    a screenshot of a phone
    There is no Travel Lesson to be learned. The bus did not show up. I am not crazy.
  5. Etiquette of Things: Keep Your Dirty Hands to Yourself
    a can of potato chips on a plate
    What a cool container of potato chips I thought. I used the tongs to take a few chips. I put the tongs down, and almost immediately a man dipped his entire hand into the jar and loaded his plate with chips. He did it directly in front of me with no shame.
  6. Why So Much Decaf in My Hotel Room?
    a tray with coffee capsules and condiments
    What does not make sense is the ratio of 4 decafs to 2.
  7. Andbus to Andorra: ‘And’ It Showed Up
    people standing next to a bus
    Welcome to Andorra

Looking to Avoid Prison? Read the Blog, Mr. Mayor

By now you have read about the indictment of the Mayor of New York, Eric Adams. The failing NYT has a great article, Lie-Flat Seats and Chilled Champagne: Testing Eric Adams’s Upgrade Life, detailing the mayor’s keenness on flying Turkish Airlines. Unfortunately, it’s not all miles and smiles, for the mayor. The SDNY has indicted Mayor Adams for corruptly accepting more than $100,000 in illegal gifts, including expensive airline seats and stays in hotels, in exchange for using his political influence to help Turkey. As an attorney, I need more details before I make a determination whether such charges are warranted. As a travel blogger, I wonder why Mayor Adams has not been reading my blog. Had he done so, he could have avoided this headache. Like the mayor, I have flown Turkish more times than I can count. Like the mayor, I too have enjoyed the mezze on the flight. Unlike the mayor, I am not enthralled with the Turkish Lounge (see Why I Still Don’t Like the Turkish Lounge in IST). Unlike the mayor, I know that Turkish doesn’t route through Instanbul [sic] on the way to Easter Island, though I applaud his creativity and desire to increase his Country Count (see Where I’ve Been). Critically, unlike the mayor, I know that points, not an alleged quid-pro-quo arrangement, are the best way to enjoy the benefits of business. My favorite part of the NYT article reads as follows:

Cenk Öcal, who as general manager of Turkish Airlines in New York was said in the indictment to have served as the point person for Mr. Adams’s numerous seat-upgrade requests, seems to have understood this all too well, dangling business-class seats in front of the mayor as both carrot and stick. After Mr. Adams was elected mayor, Mr. Öcal began angling for a spot on his transition committee:

“It would suit me well to be lead Or Senior Advisor,” Mr. Öcal wrote in a text to an Adams staffer, according to the indictment. “Lead Plz :).” He later texted, and then added — deploying perhaps the most horrifying generic threat imaginable to someone terrified of being relegated to the back of the plane — “Otherwise seat number 52 is empty.”

As an attorney, I find these texts to be incriminating. As a travel blogger, I  empathize with the mayor by quoting Kamala Harris, “We’re not going back . . . to peasant class.” The following is not legal advice: If you’re going to be busted over airline upgrades, make the charge worth it by flying Emirates, SQ, or Cathay. The latter comes with this prison jumpsuit: a man sitting on a chair with a glass of champagne

TPOL’s Out Of the Office Again

2
I can’t say where I am going because it is top secret. Let’s see how many ‘Oh I hope you don’t come back,’ comments I get.
a monkey sitting on a pole
He doesn’t care either.

Etiquette of Things: Keep Your Dirty Hands to Yourself

Keep Your Hands to Yourself is part of the Gold Medal Trip Report.
By now you should be familiar with my next book, The Etiquette of Things. Things You Didn’t Know Were Things. Here’s another installment. It comes from the Grand Hyatt Barcelona happy hour, a perk for those with club lounge access. Despite my complaints about the Grand Hyatt BCN, I did enjoy the happy hour. Who can complain about bottomless cava and tapas? This story has nothing to do with the Hyatt and everything to do with a guest of the Hyatt. While loading my plate with all the goodies, I stopped to take this photo. a can of potato chips on a plate What a cool container of potato chips I thought. I used the tongs to take a few chips. I put the tongs down, and almost immediately a man dipped his entire hand into the jar and loaded his plate with chips. He did it directly in front of me with no shame. I was revolted but decided not to confront this gross individual. Instead, I went back to my table and ate the other tapas. On his way out, the man walked by the chips again, dipped his hand in again, and left with a handful. I hope somehow he comes across this book and learns the lesson: keep your dirty hands to yourself!

Grand Hyatt Barcelona: Good, Bad, & Annoying

Grand Hyatt Barcelona Hotel Review is part of the Gold Medal Trip Report.
There are hotels that I expect will disappoint. There are also hotels that I expect to exceed expectations. Grand Hyatt BCN was one of those that I expected to be great. In the end, there was good, there was bad, and there was annoying. a building with a pool and umbrellas Good: Room Great king-size bed, good shower. a room with a bed and a rug a bed in a room a room with a bed and a tv on the wall a bed in a room
a remote control on a table
I love when the controls are next to the bed.
a bathroom with a large mirror a shower head in a bathroom a group of white bottles on a black marble surface Bad: Elevator Room I hate rooms next to the elevator. Worse than the elevator was being next to the service entrance. All morning it sounded like someone was coming into my room. I would hear dishes and glasses tossed around and people talking. It was impossible to sleep. Annoying: Coffee  I found it funny that they gave 4 decaf to 2 normal espressos (see Why So Much Decaf?). a tray with coffee capsules and condimentsa coffee machine next to a white mug a tray of coffee cups and teacups
two bottles on a tray
Extra water was welcome
Good: Happy Hour Who doesn’t love a great happy hour? Excellent Cava and a diversity of snacks were offered during the two days I went to the bar on the ground floor. My personal favorite is the tortilla de patata. meat on a rack in a restaurant a food counter in a restaurant a trays of food on a counter a plate of food on a table a pizza on a tray a plate of food on a table a plate of pasta and vegetables a group of bottles of wine in a bucket of ice a glass of champagne on a table Bad: Lounge This was one boring lounge with no atmosphere. It didn’t even have music. It did have plenty of normal coffee. a room with a bar and chairsa counter with food on it a room with a round table and chairs a room with a fireplace and chairs a coffee machine on a counter a box of tea yogurt Annoying: Location While the location of this hotel was not as remote as the Hyatt Regency Barcelona Tower, which was in the middle of nowhere, the Grand Hyatt Barcelona is not in the heart of the city. I wasted too much money on taxis instead of being able to walk out my door. a sign on a wall Good: Spa The spa was incredible. After my experience in Colombia (see Frozen: Ice Bath Medellin), I easily handled the cold pool and spent the rest of the time dipping here and dipping there.a sign on a wall a indoor pool with a large windowa pool inside a buildinga large indoor pool with a fireplace and a large window a pool inside a building a waterfall in a pool a sign on a wall a rectangular metal pool with purple lightsa sign on a stone surfacea metal square pool with a handle a sign on a wall a blue light in a room a red wall with lights Bad: Pool I am exaggerating when I say the pool was bad, but I need to keep the theme going. It was adequate. people in a pool Annoying: People People who put their hands in the chip jar (see Etiquette of Things: Keep Your Dirty Hands to Yourself). a can of potato chips on a plate Overall The hotel was good, bad, and annoying. The only reason I would not stay here again is because of the location.

Why So Much Decaf in My Hotel Room?

Why So Much Decaf? is part of the Gold Medal Trip Report.
I complain about everything (see Have You Ever Not Complained?). And I don’t apologize for it. I had legitimate complaints while staying at the Grand Hyatt BCN (see Grant Hyatt Barcelona: Good, Bad, & Annoying). I also had one that was just for laughs. Nespresso Let it be known to all, that the best pod espresso machine is Nespresso. The rest fall short. I will settle for an impostor machine over instant coffee. It is a devastating disappointment to check into a hotel and discover no espresso machine. Typically this happens in the US. At the Grand Hyatt Barcelona, there was not a Nespresso machine but something that looked like it. Ready to attack the town (see Guns & Butter: Barcelona Travel Guide), I proceeded to make myself an espresso. To my amazement, I discovered 4 decaf pods and 2 normal. At home, I have decaf pods for the rare occasion when I want that espresso taste without the espresso bolt. It makes sense that hotels provide the decaf option, though I have to wonder how many people use it. What does not make sense is the ratio of 4 decafs to 2. I could have let it go, but I decided to ask the front desk. Ever the smart ass, I showed the man the picture and asked him what he saw. He said cream and espresso. Like Rafiki, I told him to look closer. He said, “Ah ha! There are 4 decafs and 2 normal.” I queried in Spanish if in a city like Barcelona if this made sense. Unlike my last joke in Spanish that almost got me removed from an airplane (see Iberia Business ORD-MAD: Mask Jokes Literally Don’t Fly), he laughed and said no. He then sent someone to my room with enough espresso for Rick James and me. a tray with coffee capsules and condiments

Creeper Cam Is Back: Alexander Bachuwa Launches the Vlog

Creeper Cam is part of the Gold Medal Trip Report.
There was a time in my life that I walked around with a video camera. It was known as the creeper cam by virtue of its ability to capture stealth moments in HD. In total I had 3 of these Sanyo-made devices. As phones took over, the desire to carry an extra device faded as did my creepiness. Incidentally, this was around the same time I started my blog in 2014 (see TPOL Is Ten And #MasterOfWon). Although TPOL loves writing about travel, there’s more to Alexander Bachuwa than points. Accordingly, I have started a YouTube channel appropriately named Master of Won. This is not an amateur operation. I have a film producer who takes my content and produces magic that should generate fractions of hundreds of pennies (see TPOL’s Way Out of Poverty Is Not Vlogging). The inaugural clip is coming soon. For now, answer this question: do you find this guy creepy?a man holding a camera

Direct Bus from Andorra: I Made It

Direct Bus from Andorra is part of the Gold Medal Trip Report.
I booked a roundtrip journey with Direct Bus from Barcelona to Andorra. Because I ‘missed’ the bus from Barcelona to Andorra (see I Missed My Ride: Not So ‘Direct Bus’ Andorra), I made sure to get to the bus station early and to ask what time and exactly where the bus would come. The monitor in the bus terminal pointed to where the bus would be. I took no chances and sat right under it. a screen on a pole
a bus parked at a station
Not my bus
a silver van parked in front of a building
Not my bus
When the bus that said DirectBus arrived, I attempted to board it. The driver said that my electronic ticket was no good and that I needed to go into the office and obtain a paper ticket. Anxiety set in as I became worried that as soon as I turned my back, the bus would poof! Disappear.
a white bus parked under a bridge
My bus
Luckily, that didn’t happen. The journey was smooth minus the cursory inspection at the Spanish border. TPOL’s TIP: DirectBus picks up from BCN airport but drops off at the main train station.