The revolution in sportswear was supposed to come two weeks ago. Somehow my order was routed from Medellin to Miami to Cincinnati, before arriving in Puerto Rico. Now, it’s finally here. Let the marketing begin!
Be an early adapter and follow IQKh on IG.
STK Miami Restaurant Review is part of the Punxsutawney TPOL Trip Report, where TPOL leaves the basement. It’s finally happening despite inconsistent policies, interruptions, and human stupidity as explained in these posts:
Do you like steak? And do you like bass? Whether it’s Las Vegas (see “If you do go to a restaurant where the wine is out of your budget, drink beer!”) or Miami, STK may be the place for you.
Oysters
A good way to start dinner is with oysters.
Sliders
The wagyu sliders are always on point.
Sides
This time I ordered the tater tots. That was the pick of the night.
Main
The NY strip was cooked perfectly.
Dessert
After a big meal, the go-to digestif is a double espresso and Gran Marnier.
Overall
This isn’t a place for those looking for quiet dinner. It is a nightclub doubling as a restaurant that offers great food and an upbeat atmosphere.
Keep America Great: Blue Monster at Trump National Doral is part of the Punxsutawney TPOL Trip Report, where TPOL leaves the basement. It’s finally happening despite inconsistent policies, interruptions, and human stupidity as explained in these posts:
Do you recall when TPOL wrote Making America Great Again: Golden Palm At Trump National Doral? Who knew then that Trump would win the election and civil society would be pushed to the brink of collapse. Who knew that I would support Trump again by playing at Trump National?
Pretending like the last four years did not happen, friends booked a round of golf at the Trump National’s Blue Monster. If I had stronger convictions, I would have refused to play here. Alas, the best I could do to show my contempt for Donald was not replace divots and smuggle my own Tito’s on the course.
Cost
It costs $172 to play a round. Thank you for the stimulus checks with your signature.
Gear
Where were the MAGA hats? 
Rentals
If you are going to play one of the most challenging courses, I advise bringing your own clubs. The ones available for rent are old TaylorMades (see Finally Using the Amex Airline Credit As Intended).
Carts
I’m the proud owner of a Club Car Onward. Trump is an EZGO guy.
Stop the Steal
The first hole is a par 5. While my drive landed in the fairway, my errant hybrid ended up in the rough. Though I knew the general vicinity, I could not locate the ball. This was a persistent problem throughout the day. Even short shanks were swallowed up by the thick grass.
TPOL’s Tip: If you do find your ball, punch it out. Trying a full swing will result in the ball further lost in the deep rough.
Bunkers
If I was not in the rough, I was in the bunker.
Respect the Flag
Trump is very strict when it comes to approaching the green with the cart. Any patriots going too close to the flag will be stopped dead in their tracks, forcing a slow shameful, retreat.
Plane Spotting
The course is located next to MIA, giving me plenty of opportunities to plane spot and giving passengers plenty of opportunities to see my beautiful swing.
Par 3s
On the 9th hole, I landed just shy of the green. On the 15th, I landed right on the green.
18th
Per Trump, “The famed 18th hole is recognized as one of the toughest on the PGA TOUR, perhaps because it is the site of numerous collapses and heroic shots.”
Incidentally, my best shot of the day was on the 18th. I was 178 yards out and needed to carry it over the water. I took out the hybrid and hit the shot of my life. It landed on the green, leaving me with a ten-foot putt.
I sunk the putt for bogey (the first drive went into the water).
Rigged!
My total score was 123. I am having the results audited because it is quite suspicious that I could have played so badly. Early in the round, I was up big. Then all of a sudden everything went against me. I am not prepared to concede and state that I still suck at golf.
Trump 2024?
The Blue Monster is a course for skilled golfers. While I had my moments and while I learned more about course management, I will not be returning anytime soon.
TSA PreCheck is part of the Punxsutawney TPOL Trip Report, where TPOL leaves the basementj. It’s finally happening despite inconsistent policies, interruptions, and human stupidity as explained in these posts:
“I need to do my own research.” Those are the cringe-worthy words of the junior scientists who are skeptical of the vaccine. It should not come as a surprise, but I have no patience for anyone who tries to justify not being vaccinated. For the anti-vaxxers, I ask, “Do you want to wear a mask forever?” For the unsophisticated traveler, I question, “Do you like taking off your shoes and walking on that dirty airport floor?” (TSA PreCheck Free Course)
Both are such simple things to do. Perhaps people believe the government will track them if they do them. Perhaps people don’t want to undergo a background check. I don’t know which talking point is for PreCheck or which is for the vaccine. Neither is logical.
Make your life easier. Sign up for TSA PreCheck. Make the world a better place. Get vaccinated. Then, if you’re feeling lucky, leave the basement. You can come back easily if you sign up for Global Entry (see Global Entry Automatically Approved! No Interview Required).
Amex Airline Credit is part of the Punxsutawney TPOL Trip Report, where TPOL leaves the basement. It’s finally happening despite inconsistent policies, interruptions, and human stupidity as explained in these posts:
Finally, I don’t have to cancel jet with your pet or use a Delta gift card in conjunction with a low fare ticket to trigger my Amex Platinum airline credit. I proudly swiped my card and paid the $30 fee to check my golf clubs en route to the city I love to hate but continue to visit: Miami. I will yet again play at a course owned by a man I love to hate (see Making America Great Again: Golden Palm At Trump National Doral). Why I am playing at that clown’s course is hypocrisy and is explained in another post (see Keep America Great: Blue Monster at Trump National Doral).
The point of this post is two-fold: 1. To show how pathetic it is that I am happy to be charged a bag fee. 2. To declare that it is worth bringing golf clubs when Amex is paying for them, less the $595 annual card fee.
El Dorado Lounge Review is part of the Punxsutawney TPOL Trip Report, where TPOL leaves the basement. It’s finally happening despite inconsistent policies, interruptions, and human stupidity as explained in these posts:
The Priority Pass lounge in Bogota had potential, but you know what ruined it from being truly explored. All I could do is take pictures and hope for better days.
The Lounge Is Open
The Hallway Is Open
The Kids Area Is Open
Bar Dorado Is…
Closed.
BBC Bar Is…
Closed.
The Huge Lounge Is…
Empty.
But what about the food?
Remember Priority Pass Jakarta? This was worse than that. Completely disgusting.
I don’t know how I can blame Covid for that.
Overall
This lounge looked like a good time. Maybe when life returns to normal it will be. However, I don’t see any hope for the food.
Revised Travel Philosophy is part of the Punxsutawney TPOL Trip Report, where TPOL leaves the basement. It’s finally happening despite inconsistent policies, interruptions, and human stupidity as explained in these posts:
Remember the spring break kid who said, “If I get Covid, I get Covid.” He was slammed for his uninformed, seemingly reckless attitude. In fairness to him, no one at that time could understand the hell that was to follow, though I had my initial prediction (see Travel Or Stay Inside? TPOL’s Thoughts on Coronavirus written on 2/26/20/20). While I went completely underground (see The Lost & Found Year(s): COVID Trip Report), some kept living life as if nothing had changed.
Over a year later, fully vaccinated, I now adopt the spring breaker’s words: “If I get Covid, I get Covid.”. Brace yourself, but in Colombia I didn’t wear a mask. I ate indoors at restaurants (see Guns & Butter: Medellin Travel Guide & Bogota Travel Guide). I drank at bars. I went to nightclubs with hundreds of people all of whom were not wearing masks (see Bogota, a Party City? Who Knew?). And guess what? I had a great time.
The fear I had was testing positive and not being able to come home to my country based on Uncle Joe’s moronic policy of requiring a negative Covid test 72 hours before departure (see COVID Test for Return Travel Is Stupid). Since I was only in Colombia for 5 nights, no one would be able to say with certainty if I had contracted Covid from partying in Bogota, eating out in Medellin, or if I was infected before leaving Puerto Rico as there is no testing requirement to enter Colombia. Regardless. I would not be welcome home.
The point of my rambling is that Covid is not going anywhere. It is already everywhere. Travel restrictions need to end for the vaccinated.
Bogota Travel Guide is part of the Punxsutawney TPOL Trip Report, where TPOL leaves the basement. It’s finally happening despite inconsistent policies, interruptions, and human stupidity as explained in these posts:
TPOL’s Guns & Butter Travel Guide is the best way to see as much as you can in as little time as possible. Here’s how it works – A trip is composed of two factors: Labor And Lazy. The opportunity cost (what is given up) for relaxing and being Lazy is gained by being adventurous in the form of Labor and vice versa. The guide includes inefficient activities i.e., tourist traps that should be avoided and aspirational activities that are worth doing but may be impossible to see given the constraints of time and resources.
I had no expectations when I arrived in Bogota. All I knew was life in my basement (see The Lost & Found Year(s): COVID Trip Report).
No Masks
Remember what life was like pre-Covid? I didn’t until I visited a nightclub in Bogota where no one was wearing a mask (see If I Get Covid, I Get Covid: TPOL’s Out of the Basement Travel Philosophy).
Party
Remember partying? I didn’t until I visited a nightclub in Bogota (see Bogota, a Party City? Who Knew?).
Friends
Remember friends? I didn’t until I visited Bogota.
Restaurants
Remember eating out with actual silverware? I didn’t until I went to Bogota.
TPOL’s Tip: La Biferia is located at Cl. 79b #8-79, Bogotá, Cundinamarca, Colombia.
TPOL’s Tip: Don’t ask them to split a tomahawk steak. While it was delicious, it ruined the photo.
Life
Remember life? I didn’t until I was almost robbed in Bogota (see Welcome to Bogota: Almost Robbed in Broad Daylight).
Hotel
Remember hotels? I didn’t until I stayed at the lackluster JW Marriott Bogota, minus the great spa.
Overall
Remember TPOL? I’m back. Thank you Bogota.
Production complete. Promotion to follow.
If you don’t know, catch up!
Covid Test Abroad is part of the Punxsutawney TPOL Trip Report, where TPOL leaves the basement. It’s finally happening despite inconsistent policies, interruptions, and human stupidity as explained in these posts:
The only way to return to the United States, the country of which I am a citizen, the country to which I have pledged allegiance, is by producing a negative covid test within 72 hours of departure.
That was the situation I was facing going from Bogota to Puerto Rico. In order to take the test, I had two choices: 1. Go to a Colombian hospital 2. Order room service. I have been to a Colombian hospital before (see Mystery Solved: TPOL’s Disappearance in Medellin) and had no interest in going back. I went with option 2. For the nice price of $35, the JW Marriott booked an appointment for the testing man to come to my room.
Process
The testing man showed up dressed in full PPE, making me feel like patient zero. He took my passport and asked me about my vaccination status. After more questions, the test was about to begin. I thought I had signed up for the antigen test. When he came towards me with the swab, I recoiled in fear, recalling my first and only PCR test (see Thanks Donald! My COVID Test in Puerto Rico). Either the technology or methodology has improved. This time the sinus massage only lasted a couple of seconds. Lollipop in hand, I gave the testing man my Amex card. He processed my payment and was on his way. Hours later I received the results. They were negative. I could go home.
TPOL’s Tip: Order the test first thing in the morning. Hungover or not (see Bogota, a Party City? Who Knew?), waiting until 2PM for the test man to show up was a waste of time.
Enforcement
At the airport, I was curious where they would check my test result, if at all. With a mobile boarding pass, I headed to the gate. When boarding started, I heard the agent asking some people for their tests. When I presented my passport, I was told, “Welcome, aboard.” That was it.
Overall
Had I tested positive, I would have had to stay in Colombia until I received a negative test. Where I would have stayed, I have no idea. Would I have to quarantine and for how long? I do not know. What I do know is that it is ridiculous that an American citizen cannot come home. The thought that one less infected person would make a difference to the cesspool of infection that plagues the US is absurd. American borders have been open. The virus is here, yet intelligence and pragmatic thought are gone. Ignorance and impulse have taken over. Welcome to the post-covid world.
Bottom line: COVID Test for Return Travel Is Stupid
