Although the Covid hysteria lives on, this trip seems different. I am no longer trying to escape from the basement. Instead, I am reclaiming my life. A big part of my life is travel. It is cliche to say that travel is important, but that statement doesn’t mean the same to the masses as it does to me. For me, travel is oxygen. Without it, I cannot live. Without it, I lose part of my identity. I become another face among the masses, surviving the monotony of the daily routine only to do it over again.
Well, that bullshit is now over. I’m on the road, onto new destinations, and, symbolically, onto Iraq for the first time in an effort to try to understand where I come from and who I am. To romanticize the trip, I arrived in Baghdad on my 40th birthday.
I am supposed to be publishing the Iraq Homecoming Trip Report. Due to the fact that renovations of my villa are still incomplete and despite leaving my place in their care for more than three weeks, I have no choice but to go back on the road. I am resuming the Rum Rum Caribbean Castaway Trip Report, a quest to visit every island in my backyard. The funny thing about my backyard is that everything is close in theory. In reality, the rounding couldn’t be more backward. See below:
I start in San Juan and instead of swimming to Antigua, I fly all the way north to NYC. It will not be a wasted evening in NYC as I am meeting Ms. TPOL there for a night on the town (see Etiquette of Things: Comedy Cellar NY). This justifies the use of my 15,600 JetBlue points. On the way back to where I just left, we are flying business for 22k Avios each on AA. Looking to go from Antigua to St. Kitts? Good luck as there are limited flights. Talented TPOL found a British Airways 777 from ANU to SKB that saved me both money, 11k Avios vs. $169, and the hassle of going back to America.
Fortunately, there was no business class availability, leaving no opportunity to debate if it is worth paying double Avios for a 45-minute flight.
The convenience ends where it began: San Juan.
The direct option for June does not fit into my schedule, and the British trick was not available on United.
Lucky for me, Avios rescued me once again. 11k Avios to MIA is much better than the ridiculous prices above. My luck continued as my 14k JetBlue flight back to SJU leaving from Fort Lauderdale spares me a night in Miami, my favorite city (see Hyatt Regency Miami: You’re Not Staying Here Anyway).
It’s not a trip to Iraq, but it’s damn good for putting it all together the night before departure.
TPOL is back to blogging (see Simply The Best: May 2022). A great way to resume is by doing what I do best: complain. The CDC is expected to announce that it will no longer require testing for those entering the country. I have been saying for years that this requirement is stupid and irrational (see COVID Test for Return Travel Is Stupid & COVID Test to Come Home Is S-T-U-). Well, the nonsense is finally ending. I hope the testing schemers made enough money off of this garbage. Personally, I would like to ask for a refund for the tests that I did last week before coming back to the US. I was tempted to fake the results but was scared of losing my Global Entry.
Let there be no doubt. This policy is not being rescinded to help the ailing economy and not because they are ‘following the science’, a phrase that I used to believe meant something.
If you’re going to travel in Europe on a discount carrier, avoid Ryanair and book easyjet. Be sure to ‘splurge’ for the VIP benefits of being a speedy boarder.
I have flown many discount carriers in my day. My favorite Asian discount carrier is AirAsia because I was able to see most of SE Asia for next to nothing. My favorite in the US is Southwest, because of the Companion Pass and free checked bags. My favorite in Europe and, after this trip, in the world is easyJet. I first flew easyJet in 2015 and had a decent experience (see easyJet: Know Before You Go). I didn’t know then just how easy it was to fly with them if you pay nominal money to become a speedy boarder.
What are the benefits of being speedy boarder? First, it is priority boarding. This is huge when it comes to discount carriers in Europe because airlines do not post the gate until close to departure time. Once the gate is announced, there’s a long queue of people trying to get into the gate, only to queue again to get on the plane. Speedy boarders don’t have to deal with those lines. Second, speedy boarders receive seats near the front of the plane or in emergency exit rows. The seats on easy aren’t luxurious. It’s worth paying for a more comfortable seat and it’s worth being the first on and the first off. Third, speedy boarders can bring a personal item and carry-on without having to pay big fees at the airport (see 100 GBP Carry-On Bags? Scammed by Ryanair & Trips.com).
Always pick easy over Ryan.
TPOL’s Tip: Speedy or not, get to the gate on time. If the masses board before you, they’ll throw their luggage in the first overhead bin, defeating the purpose of having a seat in the front of the plane.
Overall
If you’re going to travel in Europe on discount carrier, avoid Ryanair and book easyjet, just be sure to ‘splurge’ for the VIP benefits of being a speedy boarder.
We took the train to MXP and spent the next hour wandering the airport searching for a lounge. The first was located in the non-Schengen area. Since we were flying domestically, it was inaccessible. The second was conveniently located near our gate but closed due to Covid. The third was open and in the right terminal but was a twenty minute walk to our gate.
Given the time and energy wasted, we didn’t have much time at the lounge. It was a place to re-hydrate and stock up on food for our late arrival in Catania where, unlike Milan, there would be no restaurants open (see Late Night Bite in Milan).
I also have great anxiety when riding them because I never know if I purchased the right ticket. I am always worried about being fined by the ticket checker because I booked the wrong fare or worse for not having a ticket at all (see Scammed or Stupid? A Big Fine in Palermo).
On this trip, in Copenhagen, I was worried because I only had one ticket for two passengers. Before boarding the train, I asked the information desk if this covered both people. It did. Sure enough, I was stopped by the inspector who double-checked that my single ticket was for two people. 1/1.
From both Manchester airport to the Hyatt Manchester and from Manchester to Conwy, the conductor announced that this train was only for a certain type of ticket. Again, I was anxious when the ticket man came around. He scanned the ticket and moved along. I was 3/3.
Look on his face says it all.
In Milan, I exited the airport train at the wrong station. I boarded the next train marked for the airport and was worried when the inspector came and stared at my tickets. He then started speaking Italian and writing something on my ticket. With the credit card machine in his hand, I was sure that I had done something wrong. He gave me back my tickets and walked away. 4/4.
Overall
Train anxiety is real. And so are the fines if something goes wrong. Beware.
TPOL’s Guns & Butter Travel Guide is the best way to see as much as you can in as little time as possible. Here’s how it works – A trip is composed of two factors: Labor And Lazy. The opportunity cost (what is given up) for relaxing and being Lazy is gained by being adventurous in the form of Labor and vice versa. The guide includes inefficient activities i.e., tourist traps that should be avoided and aspirational activities that are worth doing but may be impossible to see given the constraints of time and resources.
Milan is a great city. Everyone is so fashionable. I feel like a bum each time I am there because I never have my tailor-made suit and tie (see Fabric Market Shanghai Prices: How to Bargain (2019 Edition). My ragged appearance does not stop me from taking in the sights, treating myself to fancy dinners, or staying at top-end hotels. Here’s what I have done:
Stay
If you’re here for one night, the Hyatt Centric is acceptable.
With everything closed around the Hyatt Centric, we went to a ‘diner’ on Via Ruggero Boscovich, 22, 20124.
Another choice is Le Capannelle which is located on Viale Papiniano, a great name for a street.
Tourist
It’s tricky to ask upscale hotels like the Park Hyatt for dinner recommendations. They send tourists to safe spots that may not necessarily be the best for authenticity or value. Here, the Park Hyatt recommended Solferino. One thing is for certain, you will arrive in style.
That’s not to say that the wine and food were not top notch.
Local
Latteria di San Marco: Though I’ve never been, I have it on local authority that I missed out.
TPOL’s Tip: Like many big cities, the area around the central bus/train station is not the best at night. Stopping for a beer on the way to the hotel was a mistake given the unstable patrons.
The age-old question: you have one night in a city and a late arrival. Do you burn points on a nice hotel that you will not enjoy besides the bed?
Although I had hit Globalist by staying at the Hyatt Regency Manchester, my status had not kicked in. I did not receive an upgrade and had to beg for a 4PM checkout.
Room
The room was what I expected for a 15k a night Hyatt.
I arrived late. I woke up late. I went to lunch and returned for a siesta. While I didn’t get to enjoy the amenities of the hotel apart from the location, I still conclude it was a good use of points only because it was an expiring stay certificate. However, if I return to Milan, there’s only one place to stay: the Park Hyatt (see Let Me Live Here, Please).
![[OUT OF THE OFFICE]: TPOL’s Going Home to Iraq](https://thepointsoflife.boardingarea.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/wp-1652210489658-768x1024.jpg "[OUT OF THE OFFICE]: TPOL’s Going Home to Iraq")
