I like writing posts detailing my stupidity as a traveler. I especially enjoy the critiques that come after revealing my shortcomings. Here’s another one for your amusement.
Sign, sign, everywhere a sign Blockin’ out the scenery, breakin’ my mind Do this, don’t do that, can’t you read the sign?
I have issues with reading signs at airports. For example, in Minneapolis, I can’t find the other Delta Sky Club. I see the sign that says proceed straight and then somewhere between that sign and the club, I lose the scent. Where is the sign that says, “Arrived! Sky Club on the right”? I had a similar issue at SJU trying to find the other Priority Pass Lounge, but that was primarily due to bad directions in the app. Poorly posted placards are only partially to blame. The other issue is the meaning of the arrows. Here’s an easy one:
I’m on the ground floor and I understand that an exit means go outside. The arrow pointing down doesn’t mean go downstairs. But what do these arrows mean? Does the Mcdonald’s sign say turn around and it’s behind me? Or does that sign say go downstairs? Or does the sign say make a u-turn and then go downstairs. Mind you, right next to me was an escalator.
Depending on the airport, sometimes my first instinct is correct. Sometimes I have to see what’s before door #3 before I get to where I need to be. This doesn’t improve my sign reading aptitude for the long-term as I still don’t know, looking at the sign now, where McDonald’s is.
I’m sure someone will bitch about this bad Flight Review because that individual won’t get that I document each part of my trip as a way to tell a full story for future generations. I also do it to add to my ever growing list of airlines I have experienced. This review focuses on two things:
1. How much I hate taking the bus from the terminal. I would much rather walk down the jetway except for the fact that taking the bus gives me an opportunity to skip the line to the plane. That, of course, depends on picking the correct side of the bus.
2. My paranoia of missing my international flight which leads me to arrive way too early and spend way too much time at the Iberia Madrid Lounge. The flight to Madrid is one hour. It left at 6:55AM and arrived at 9:10AM. Even with a delay, I’m sure I could’ve taken a later flight given the 8:25PM departure time.
I was looking for a cheap points option for my final days. I chose the Radisson Lisbon and regret doing so. It was far from the city center and the delicious cod and far from the pop in pub crawl. The real problem with the hotel was the air conditioner that was not working despite the scorching summer heat. I would trade a suite accommodation for a working a/c anytime. I would also trade a hotel that is more centrally located for the free points stay. Perhaps I should’ve done more research regarding location, but this was the last stop on a tour that included more cities than I can remember. For that, I give myself a break. For you, I present the photos:
I previously wrote Sorry Harbaugh, College Football Should Be Cancelled. Today the Big Ten decided to bring it back starting October 24th for 8 weeks. My COVID concerns have not changed, but I am hoping that the experts know what they are doing and that the season will kickoff and be completed without interruption or disaster. The NBA and NHL have shown that this experiment works in a bubble. The NFL has shown that it can make life look normal even when it isn’t. Now, let’s see what happens with the NCAA.
A lazy way to see a city and make friends is a pub crawl. I’m not a big fan because it’s either an excuse to promote sex tourism or a sure-fire way to end up with a terrible hangover because the open bar is usually full of terrible toxins instead of quality cocktails. On the other hand, it’s far easier to meet people by joining a pub crawl instead of walking around solo. In Lisbon, I went to Barrio Alto and came across a group of crawlers. Instead of formally joining them, I hopped along from bar to bar until I met a different group of people and did the same.
A few drinks later, my new best friends and I went to Cais-do-Sodré, the Pink Street to visit for more bars. I left those friends and continued the cycle until this pop in pub crawl was over.
A view from above Pink Street
Do you sign up for pub crawls or do you prefer the pop in?
After lunch in Rossio, it was time to explore. Liquid courage is needed for an impromptu adventure.
Like many other tourists, I waited in line for a shot.
Bonjardim Restaurant
After delicious cod, did I really need to eat more? Probably not, but when I read, “The best greasy spit-roasted chicken this side of Louisiana at the Bonjardim restaurant (Santo Antão, 11), appropriately nicknamed Rei dos Frangos,” (King of Chickens), on Lisbon’s Wikitravel page, I had to check it out. Could it beat Nairobi’s Jus Chicken?
The chicken was pretty good but doesn’t compare to New Orleans or Jus Chicken.
Glória Funicular
This train was constructed in 1885 and is a national landmark. It connects the Pombaline downtown (at the Restauradores Square) with the Bairro Alto (Garden/ Overlook of São Pedro de Alcântara).
Restauradores Square
It’s nice to see and good for pictures but not a must-do.
Bairro Alto
Walk or tram, just make sure you get to the top.
The Descent
The next step adventure is to walk to the bottom. I stopped at a brewery along the way.
One More Dinner
I wanted to relive the glory of the first cod restaurant and stopped at a random place for some wine and fish. It was good but doesn’t compare to the first experience.
Having reached the water, it was time to go return to the Radisson.
Social Distance Yourself from Misinformation. Do you remember that post? What happened to those idiots who said this was a hoax? That this was no more dangerous than the flu? Where’s the guy who said he travels all the time and doesn’t wear a mask?
He’s in the White House. But I digress.
This post is to document my experience receiving a COVID test on an island that shouldn’t have COVID if the government did its job (see Frontier Airlines: The Covid Super Spreader for Puerto Rico). The day started out with finding a lab that could actually do the molecular nose swab test. Most only do the antibody test which doesn’t help someone who has symptoms or believes he/she has been exposed to someone who may be infected. I’m the latter in this scenario. After finding a testing site, the next step was to schedule a telehealth conference and receive a referral from a physician.
Here’s how that conversation went:
Doctor: Why do you want a COVID test?
TPOL: I was near someone who is now showing symptoms.
Doctor: OK, I’ll send you the paperwork.
Without insurance, this consult costs $45. It was free using the promo code COVID-19APR with my insurance. (Note: I do not receive compensation if you use that code. Some influencer humor is appropriate.) The teleconference prerequisite makes me wonder how many people would like to get tested but do not have the means to do so. I don’t have the energy to broach that subject
Armed with my doctor’s note, I set off to the drive-thru testing site. I arrived at 8AM and didn’t see a long line. I didn’t realize that the people in the parked cars were also there for the test.
If COVID doesn’t kill me, then the salad bar at Ponderosa just might.“It goes through air, Bob,” Trump said. “That’s always tougher than the touch. You know, the touch, you don’t have to touch things. Right? But the air, you just breathe the air and that’s how it’s passed.”
TPOL’s TIP: For maximum effectiveness, shave daily if you’re wearing an N95, yet another benefit gone that I used to enjoy from working remotely.
2 hours later, it was my turn to go through the nose wash. I heard that the swab was uncomfortable and was akin to someone probing your brain. I rather enjoyed the experience and would, under different circumstances, pay for someone to tickle my nose.
The coronavirus is “more deadly than… even your strenuous flus,” Trump added.Question: Why the fuck am I in a drive-thru getting my nose probed? Answer: “I wanted to always play it down,” Trump said.
A few minutes later I was off to do nothing and wait. The turnaround time for results is one week. During this time, I’ll keep my distance from everyone. I will still work out alone and will golf alone. Seven days makes the testing sort of pointless. If it’s negative, I will save one week of my life from self-quarantine. If it’s positive, then I need to contact all the people who I can recall interacting with, assuming that the spreader is the person I suspect it may be. By the time that happens, those people have been on the loose for weeks, potentially spreading the virus further.
This could have and should have been prevented. We live in the richest country in the world. My question for everyone, “If I warned about this pandemic in February, how do people still not ducking know the danger of it now?” (see Travel Or Stay Inside? TPOL’s Thoughts on Coronavirus). Enough of this lunacy and lunatic. Get your act together America!
On that positive note, I’ll let you know my results when they come in. Over-under on comments from readers hoping I get it? Those deplorables are locks for Festivus 2020.
TPOL travels to eat and drink (see Food & Drink Guide). For me, it’s not about the Michelin restaurants and it’s not about the off the beaten path bullshit. It’s about good food and good drinks wherever I can find it (see Food in Milan: Tourist Places But Good Nonetheless). In Lisbon, the Restaurant Sunflower was near the beaten path of Rossio, one of the main squares in Lisbon, in an alley tucked away from the food hawkers. It proved to be one of the best restaurants for seafood.
Rossio
Rossio Square
Near Rossio is a street full of restaurants. Having learned my lesson from Mexico City (see Don’t Pay $30 for Tacos), I was reluctant to enter any of them, especially when the maitre d’ was barking at every tourist to come inside. Another warning sign was the menu with international flags aplenty.
If you see flags on a menu, that’s a flag itself.I was looking for typical food but not tourist quality.
The Alley
In an effort to flee from the relentless pushers, I went down a random alley and into a small cocina.
1.60 euros for a beer and espresso
The Restaurant
The place is tiny but I found somewhere to sit. I ordered a jug of wine which paired nicely with the bread, soup, and olives.
This would be a nice souvenir to have.
The Menu
Look at these prices. I went with cod, the chef’s specialty.
The Best Cod
I normally don’t like cod, or at least the way I prepare it out of the Costco frozen bag. The last sentence should not be in this post because there is no way to compare the chef’s specialty to what I make at home.
The empty plate tells it all.
The Bill
I can compare the price to those of the tourist trap restaurants. I can’t imagine that the food compares.
One more espresso.
Overall
I could tell you a romantic tale about how a local artist recommended this restaurant and how it was authentic. The truth is I was smart enough to avoid the main street and lucky enough to find this place.
TPOL’s TIP: Be sure to check the hours. I went for round 2 on my second day, but it was closed for lunch.
What if I were to tell you that all blogs aren’t proofread? That bloggers rely on their poor grasp of English when publishing posts? On the next 30 for 30, we interview my editor.
The story begins like this – in April of 2017, TPOL hired cliffordbarnabus to make sure that I was not that bad blogger. I have shared his story in a few posts (see Who Is The Most Interesting Man in the World (After TPOL)?). Although it has been over three years, I have not met Clifford nor have I ever spoken to him on the phone and thankfully he’s not capable of doing Zoom. We were supposed to have a blogger’s romance, but then you know what showed up. Lately, I have been failing to inform him when I publish posts, leaving him feeling jilted and my blogs riddled with errors. As such, I have declared 9/9 Editor’s Day – a yearly holiday here at TPOL Enterprises in the hopes that we stay together for many years to come.
I know I don’t say it enough but thank you for your hard work and dedication.
Does the Mcdonald’s sign say turn around and it’s behind me? Or does that sign say go downstairs? Or does the sign say make a u-turn and then go downstairs. Mind you, right next to me was an escalator.
Having reached the water, it was time to go return to the 
