While I wrote a review about the Priority Pass Lounge in Guangzhou, I passed on writing about the preceding flight. I will write a quick review of my experience from CAN back to PVG because the snack was an oversized pork dumpling ( that came in a plastic bag. I’ve had dim sum on Cathay but never a dumpling.
How did it stack up to Yang’s or Yu Garden? I will say that it stacked up quite well. Like a street dumpling, it was soft on the outside and juicy on the inside. Giant dumplings on an airplane – who would of thought? What’s next, lobster thermidor on a plane (see Singapore Airlines A380 Suite Class, My Turn)?
It’s technically a bao, not a dumpling but I say they are related.
I arrived just in time for the last call for food. Mind you, I have been on the road since August 4th so I showed up as the Fat Guy in the Lounge. The servings of kung pao and made-to-order soup did not help matters. In fairness to me, I had a Coke Zero.
There is golf. There is a beach. Two out of three prerequisites for my home search were met. There’s definitely and most certainly no nightlife in Bahia. People come here to get away and stay away.
This place is a joke. It’s like if my dad said he would build me a pool in my backyard and just dug a hole and filled it with water. I played 4 holes and asked for my money back. I was told no.
The eight-hour drive from Chitwan to Kathmandu gives a new meaning to the expression “one mile at a time.” It took that long to go 60 miles. If I were in Olympic shape, I could have run there faster.
What happened? First, the roads in Nepal are awful. Second, most are one lane which leads to a never-ending game of chicken. Third, there was construction on the pass connecting the two towns. The construction only allowed traffic in one way. More than once, the driver turned off the car, exited the vehicle, and only returned to move the car three feet. One time, I thought we were going to move because buses and cars were honking. As it turned out, the driver in front of us had fallen asleep. When he woke up, he moved his car ten feet and we waited some more.
The flight from Chitwan to KTM is 25 minutes. My fear was that it would be cancelled (see Nepal Domestic Flight Misery), and I would miss my flight to Shanghai. This, apparently, was the better alternative.
The only thing that moved slower that day was Michigan’s shitty offense against Wisconsin.
Overall
What a nightmare. We left at 4PM, were supposed to arrive at 8PM, but didn’t check in until after midnight.
A 3-hour drive from Pokhara is Chitwan National Park. It was the final stop on my tour of Nepal. My reason for going was to see the one-horned rhino. The advertisements say there are tigers but from what I read they are rarely in season. The cost of the two hour Jeep tour was 10k rupees ($83) for 2 people, 4k ($33) of which was the ticket to the park.
Before going, we were able to eat lunch and rest at the Eden Resort.
More momo
At lunch, our guide came to us and asked if we wanted to see the rhinos. Confused, I said yes but the safari starts at 1PM. He said, “No, right now. They are here. Leave your beer.” I didn’t see rhinos in Africa (see Kenyan Safaris Are Expensive: Mara & Amboseli Price Summary) so I quickly followed him out of the restaurant and across the street. Sure enough, there were two rhinos meandering about. The guide warned us from going too close. Days before a local was killed when a rhino charged. Though these pictures aren’t the greatest, they will have to do on account of staying alive.
Other Nepalese tourists didn’t care about getting close and took selfies much closer than I was. No thank you.
On the way back, we saw rhino dung. The guide shared that magic mushrooms grow on it.
The stress of going on a safari is the pressure of not seeing the animals I’ve come to see. Here I saw what I came to see so I was able to enjoy the safari.
Driver
Our driver was an interesting fellow. People know that they should not text and drive. How about watching this interesting video? He was certainly resourceful. Besides multi-tasking, he did change a tire that blew out during our safari.
Animals
I saw different kinds of deer, antelope, lizards, snakes, birds, and one alligator. I didn’t see a tiger as predicted, nor did I see the long nose croc as I had hoped to see. As I only use my phone for taking pictures, I didn’t bother taking photos of animals far off in the distance. I also am against digital zoom. If the subject isn’t within a few feet, no photo will be taken.
Croc?
Views
Like Kenya, my favorite parts of the safaris are the trees and the panoramic views.
Rhinos
Whenever we would come across an animal, the guide would tap his ring on the jeep. The driver would stop. Magically, he could see things I would’ve missed even if I had all the time in the world. The best discovery was a mother and baby rhino. The mother came close to the jeep. This was good for pictures but could have been detrimental to my health.
Get down! Shut up!
TPOL’s TIP: Don’t wear bright orange/reddish pants on safari. Or do because they attract rhinos.
Overall
I was lucky. I came for rhino. I saw rhino.
TPOL’s TIP: I hired a driver to take me from Pokhara to Chitwan to Kathmandu for 15k rupees ($125). The day started at 6:30AM and ended at midnight (see OMAAT: The Hell Journey from Chitwan to Kathmandu).
Why are people coming here in the first place? It’s raining everyday, there are sandstorms, it’s hurricane season, bars are closed, and the there are man-eating iguanas everywhere. Stay away.
If Harbuagh wants to deal with COVID, the only way to do so is to cancel the season this fall. While life without college football will be depressing, the good news is we won’t lose to Ohio State again.
I don’t know why the NYT and other publications feel the need to sensationalize headlines about Puerto Rico, which is why I proceeded to tweet at the author of the article expressing my frustration.
Pandemic, pandemic, pandemic. It never ends and there’s nothing to do besides order nonsense off of Amazon and wait for my expected ship date to be updated.
I cannot wait for this pandemic to be over and for the employees to go back into work. They’re not cut out for working online. They belong in the cubicle*, virtually and physically far from me.
TPOL’s Guns & Butter Travel Guide is the best way to see as much as you can in as little time as possible. Here’s how it works – A trip is composed of two factors: Labor And Lazy. The opportunity cost (what is given up) for relaxing and being Lazy is gained by being adventurous in the form of Labor and vice versa. The guide includes inefficient activities i.e., tourist traps that should be avoided and aspirational activities that are worth doing but may be impossible to see given the constraints of time and resources.
I was mesmerized by this advertisement for golfing in the Himalayas. Don’t fall for it. Here’s what it really looks like (see Rip-off Alert: Golfing in the Himalayas).
Warning #3: Paragliding (during Monsoon Season)
Weather really can interfere with plans. Initially, my paragliding trip was cancelled because of the rain. Then the rain stopped and I was able to have a great time (see Paragliding Pokhara: Born to Be Alive).
I stayed at Big Pillow, a nice play for $40 a night. Could I have found a cheaper place? Absolutely. This warning comes from spending too much when there are cheaper options (see Frontier Hotel Darwin: My Case for Hostels) and for settling for a room for a few dollars thinking it will be the Chungking Mansions.
Warning #6: Doing No Research
TPOL doesn’t plan ahead (see How to Book Trinidad’s Carnival Last Second for Free*). Usually, this works out. In Pokhara, not doing research was a mistake (see My Fault vs. This Place Sucks: How TPOL Grades Destinations). Had I spent even five minutes looking at why people go to Pokhara, I probably would have booked a 5-day Annapurna trekking trip to get a taste of the Himalayas. The full trek takes weeks, but this would have been sufficient and a better use of my time than playing golf.
Warning #7: Watch Your Weight
Pokhara had some great food. Ordering double entrees and double appetizers and triple drinks for myself caught up to me quickly. But since I was not trekking, why would I pass up on momo, curry, and biryani?
I even ordered momo when I went for pizza.
The end result
Overall
Food and paragliding made Pokhara worth visiting. Trekking would have made it more special. Maybe next time when the Pokhara International Airport opens.
There are places in the world that suck. Phuket is a great example. Kuala Lumpur is another. I have no desire to go back to either of them. Then there are places that could be great but things did not go according to plan or there was not a good plan. I’m famous for winging it when I get on the ground, and usually I find my way (see How to Book Trinidad’s Carnival Last Second for Free*). That didn’t happen in Nepal. I came during rainy season which normally means there is a risk that rain may spoil my plans. I didn’t expect four days of a straight downpour. This set off a cascade of events. First, I hastily went through Kathmandu from sight to sight eager to get out of the rain and mud and with no patience to take in the sights (Guns & Butter: Kathmandu Travel Guide (Bargaining Edition)). Granted, I’m not a person who cares to see temple after temple, but better weather would have had me in better spirits. The curse of the rain forced my flight from Kathmandu to Pokhara to be cancelled (see Nepal Domestic Flight Misery). I ended up staying another night in Kathmandu, held up in the beautiful Hyatt Regency.
The risk of interminable bad weather forced me to book paragliding on an overcast day instead of waiting for a beautiful sunny one, though that still worked out (see Paragliding Pokhara: Born to Be Alive). When the day was sunny, I opted to go golfing in the Himalayas, something that sounds cooler than it really was (see Rip-off Alert: Golfing in the Himalayas).
The combination of bad weather, poor planning, and not engaging in activities for which a country is known leaves me to blame for what could have been a better experience. In my defense, I did not give up. I could’ve cancelled my flight to Pokhara and remained a refugee at Hyatt. I could’ve stayed in Pokhara another night and wandered around the town getting fatter off of momo (see Guns & Butter: Pokhara, Nepal Travel Guide (Cautionary Edition)). Instead, I booked transport to Chitwan National Park to see the one-horned rhino. The drive took 3 hours from Pokhara followed by what was supposed to be another 4 hours to Kathmandu (see OMAAT: The Hell Journey from Chitwan to Kathmandu).
The takeaways from my rambling are the following:
Know the tourist attractions before visiting a country.
Do them.
Explore beyond that.
Then decide if a place is great or if it sucks.
Otherwise, you’ll have to return again and cover something you missed, something I don’t like doing because it means giving up another adventure. To that end, I’ll be back in Pokhara in 2022, when the international airport opens as I refuse to go to Kathmandu ever again.
TPOL’s TIP: The overused “off-the-beaten-path” line is only applicable once you’ve seen what’s on the path. There’s a reason why tourist attractions attract tourists.
What is a thrill for me may be a fear for you and vice versa. Here are my biggest fears which I have yet to conquer and a brief explanation of why I am still scared.
Motorbikes/Mopeds
I will hop on the back of a motorbike anywhere in the world. I am not scared of the Excitebike action. What I won’t do is drive one myself. They are too dangerous for my taste. As an adolescent, I recall driving my cousins moped in his neighborhood. I was supposed to turn left but, paralyzed by fear, hopped the curb right onto the lawn of a man watering his grass. He looked at me in disbelief. I tried it again another day and once again found myself steering onto another person’s lawn. And that’s in a suburban neighborhood. I couldn’t imagine doing it in a big city. I once was told that one person dies each day in Vietnam in a motorbike accident. I know how to cross the street in Vietnam, but riding a motorbike? No thank you. I would be terrified at the sight of oncoming traffic and would cave if a truck honked at me when it passed. I literally think I would wipe out just to be done with experience.
Bicycles
On par with motorbikes are bicycles. Though I’m prolific on the spin bike, I have no balance on a bicycle. Like the moped, I am scared of falling over. I’m also scared of traffic. Anytime a car is approaching in the opposite lane, I somehow wander towards it. If I sense a vehicle is coming from behind, I freeze and have to come to a complete stop. Unfortunately, there’s no getting around bicycling for some tourist activities. In Mendoza, I needed a bike to go on a wine tour (see “It’s Like Riding a Bike.” Those words have haunted me for years.). In Blenheim, it would’ve been so boring to go on a wine tour via minibus. There’s no way I could’ve seen the beauty of the vineyards (see Wine Tours by Bike NZ: A Must for Wine Enthusiasts). In Bagan, the best way to see the pagodas is with a rickety bike (see Guns & Butter: Bagan Travel Guide). In Bhutan, I should’ve skipped the downhill only ride from the Big Buddha (see Finding Happiness: Bhutan Day 2).
Unlike motorbikes, I will get back on a bicycle and I think I’m making some progress.
Stick Shift
Once upon a time, my friend and I were driving were driving to Canada when we were stopped by American border patrol for CWA – crossing while Arab. While it’s not uncommon to be questioned or detained by the country you are going to, it’s not very often that you’re stopped by the country you are leaving from (see “You Leave Only with Passport!” Detained in Tel Aviv Again). After a thorough pat-down which included a gentle massage of my privates, I was put back in the waiting room. My friend was still being interrogated. The agent, whose name I will never forget, came out and told me that my friend had a suspended drivers license. If I didn’t want to see him go to jail I would have to drive his car. At that point, Officer Hiscock asked me if I knew how to drive stick? With my friend’s freedom hanging in the balance, I said, “Absolutely!” We were released and taken to my friend’s car which had been ripped apart. With the agents watching, I had my crash course in driving a manual. The scariest part was reversing on a bridge with semi-trucks whizzing by. I thought I would slingshot the car right off the bridge. Somehow I managed to do it and got us to the Canadian entry point. Canada doesn’t have the same CWA rule and let us in right away. Despite stalling at the border, I got the hang of it and drove all the way to Hamilton. On the way home, I had to drive again. Though Officer Hiscock wasn’t there that day, we were still stopped. There was no ball touching this time around, but we were still detained momentarily.
Besides the PTSD from this experience, I’m also terrified of shifting from neutral to first while being on an incline. I feel I would start sliding backward, panic, and either hit the car behind me or descend uncontrollably to my death.
Driving on the Left
Manual or auto, my third and final fear is driving on the left. I can’t do it. I end up either being too close to the left shoulder or in the middle of the road. Like motorbikes and bicycles, I get nervous when other cars come towards me or from behind.
Thrills
Here are fears that have since become thrills.
Jetski (Conquered)
When I was a kid, I rode on the back of a jetski with my cousins. They thought it was fun to go as fast as possible straight and then jerk the jetski sideways so I would fly off. Falling off didn’t hurt but the anxiety of when it would happen was too much to bear. Since then I avoided jetskis for the most part, and if I did go on one, I would not go fast. Two summers ago, my friend invited me to go jet skiing on the Hudson. The water was choppy and I was nervous. I would hit the gas, let go, then hit the gas. This was getting me nowhere. Since I was scared of falling off, I abandoned this strategy and decided to go for it. Zipping along at speeds over 50mph, I started doing turns and having fun. I realized that it wasn’t jetskis that I should be wary of, it was my reckless cousins.
Bungee (Conquered)
I’m not scared of heights, but I was scared of bungee jumping because of the risk that the rope would break (see Woman Survives Terrifying Bungee Accident) or that I would get whiplash. I said if I went to Zimbabwe, I would face this fear and jump off the bridge. On the ledge, jumpers hear the announcement, “3, 2, 1 bungee!” From there they have to jump. I wondered if I would freeze when it was my turn. I did not and actually was not scared at all (see 3,2,1 Bungee! Bungee Jumping Victoria Falls).
And there you have it. Those are the activities I am scared of. Some I have conquered, others I have not. Obviously, there are things that I will not do, like scaling a mountain with no rope but neither would 99.9 percent of people.
The adrenaline activity I chose in Pokhara was paragliding. Unlike riding a bicycle which is still terrifying to me (see Finding Happiness: Bhutan Day 2), heights do not scare me. Still, there is a small degree of risk when you’re feet are off the ground and the only thing keeping you from death is a parachute.
Before detailing my ride, let me describe my second favorite travel activity: bargaining (see Master Bargainer: TPOL’s TIPS for Shopping Abroad). I went all over Pokhara looking for the best price to go paragliding. As I was lowballing every travel agency, it occurred to me that this strategy may not be prudent. I don’t think it’s wise to go cheap when it comes to my life. At the same time, I was taking a tandem flight, so it’s not like the pilot would be less inclined to be cautious with his life just because I paid less.
Ultimately, I booked my flight with Adam Tours, the agency I used for all my excursions, for 5000 rupees ($141) per person.
TPOL’S TIP: Contact Adam.
With only 2 days in Pokhara and a monsoon that never seemed to end, I was worried that I would not be able to go paragliding. If the ground is wet, the pilots understandably won’t fly because it makes taking off and landing tricky. It also kills the experience if the scenery is drab and gray. As the rain stopped and the sky cleared, we were given the go-ahead to go ahead.
A caravan of SUV’s proceeded up a bumpy road and we eventually made it to the launch point. The safety instructions were brief: keep running until we are up in the air.
Takeoff
Helmet on my head, arms at my side, I took off running on the uneven terrain. By running, I mean a brisk walk. Eventually, the wind lifted us off the ground and ever so smoothly we were in flight. It was a peaceful take off compared to the bungee dive.
Up in the Air
Up in the air, the GoPro was turned on and great photos were taken.
Finally Fun
Down below, I saw a paraglider doing some tricks. I told my pilot I wanted to do the same. He obliged and starting turning abruptly from left to right. Finally, I was having fun. The free-fall feeling is my favorite.
Descent
As we went closer to the ground, I wondered why I felt safer high in the air than closer to the ground. It would seem to make sense that being closer to earth would mean I am safer, but the more we descended the more I could feel how fast we were traveling
Landing
The second set of safety instructions were delivered minutes before landing: keep your feet up and stand up when we land. Then the pilot said we are landing over there, pointing to an X on the ground. Coming in hot, I made sure my feet were up. A nice way to break your legs would be to have them get caught on the ground. The landing was executed smoothly. We transitioned from a rapid descent to standing upright without dramatics. With that, my adventure was over.
Risk
Paragliding was fun but not high on my list of thrill-seeking activities. I am sure when my pilot flies solo, the rides are far from tame. For safety reasons, pilots don’t perform crazy maneuvers with tourists because they do not know how tourists may react.
Overall
Now I’ve been paragliding. What is there left to do?
Don’t fall for it. Here’s what it really looks like (see 
