Travel Guide - ThePointsOfLife

TPOL to Play Tennis with Andre Agassi?

The Deal Ticker

thepointsoflife

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August 23, 2019

I received an email from Marriott with the subject line, “Tennis with Andre Agassi”. I thought, given my celebrity status, that I was personally being invited to play with Andre. After all, I attempted to host Puerto Rico Celebrity Golf Giveaway! As it turns out, this offer is available to anyone who has Bonvoy points. If it were golf and debauchery with John Daly, I might be willing to part ways with Flex Perks. Since I’m not a tennis player, I won’t partake. Still, I believe it’s a clever offer and at 175k points, it’s a solid deal. Here are the details:

Marriott Bonvoy is offering an amazing opportunity for members to head down to the luxurious St. Regis Punta Mita Resort in Mexico for 2-nights, to attend a special masterclass being led by legendary tennis player Andre Agassi. Check it out here.

My Canon cup.

Relax, Gate Info Coming

thepointsoflife

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August 22, 2019

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Relax, Gate Info Coming is part of the ANA, Take Me ‘Round the World Trip Report.

My horror show United flight from EWR-BRU was delayed considerably. When I got off the plane, I was one of those nervous passengers scrambling to find my connecting gate. Do you notice that when you’re in need of this information, it is either presented in a foreign language and/or it is scrolling through a different time period? An anxious mess, I briskly walked to through the terminal to find the departures screen. What I found was this:

Next to my 9:45AM flight to Munich, the sign read “Relax, Gate Info at 9AM”. In no danger of missing my flight, I thought I would take a picture to commemorate the light moment and devote a blog post to show that I’m not the only one who freaks out at the airport (see 30 Minute Connection? How Fast Should You Walk?). With some time to kill before my next flight, I went to the Brussels Lounge to have some morning beers. While there, I kept a close eye on the departure board as I still suffer from Boarding Announcement Paranoia.

Do you have the same paralyzing fear at airports? Or am I alone on this?

United Polaris EWR-BRU: The Horror Show!

thepointsoflife

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August 21, 2019

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United Polaris Newark-Brussels Review is part of the ANA, Take Me ‘Round the World Trip Report.

When I booked my ANA RTW ticket for 22k miles in business for only 125k MRs, I searched hard for Polaris availability. Be careful what you search for, you will get it (see Award Booking OCD = Fortnite Addiction).

Amenities Kit

Before I get into the horror movie that literally and figuratively is this flight, let me talk about the fun twist on the amenities kit. Instead of the typical airline brand kit, United partnered with the new Spider-Man movie to produce this superhero tribute.

IFE

I scanned the IFE selection after drinking the subpar champagne. It is foreshadowing that the movie I selected, Us, would mirror my flight experience.

Champagne

I don’t expect US carriers to carry premium champagne, but is it too much to ask for proper cups?

glasses of juice and a passport on a table in an airplane — American luxury

Seating

I can’t complain about the lie flat seat or about the pillows, especially the blue one which reminds me of my $200 Tempur-Pedic at home. What I will complain about is how many damn passengers there were in business and, as a result, the rushed service.

Window Seat?

I will also complain about having a window seat where I’m not facing the window and the lamp that blocked it.

Wine

There was not a wine list, and the flight attendant did not know what kind of wine they offered. I knew I was in trouble when the choices were white or red. I made the wrong choice with whatever red I selected.

Quiet, Too Quiet

As the drama of this scary movie built, the cabin remained eerily quiet. It is impressive how quiet the 787 is compared to Airbus (see JAL 787 Dreamliner: An American Marvel: SAN-NRT).

Appetizer

The first scary scene was the appetizer. Like the Polaris lounge, United was trying to be too creative with their food. What is pomegranate acai vinaigrette? What happened to ranch (see I Found Hidden Valley)?

Dinner

The blood and gore of the film wasn’t why I lost my appetite. It was the disgusting risotto and salmon combination.

Dessert

The crescendo of terror was the dessert. I didn’t dare order the sundae after seeing what my neighbor received. It was a slaughtered mess of ice cream and whip cream.

Overall

In terms of lie-flat, long-haul flights, this was the worst I have taken. The seat itself was fine, but everything else was a horror show. The service, the food, and the drinks were all bad. Like the movie, I was left trying to figure out what the hell just happened. Does the son know?

a pillow on a bed — Putting my foot down and saying this is the worst business class long-haul flight I have ever taken.

If you enjoyed United Polaris Newark Brussels Review read the entire ANA, Take Me ‘Round the World Trip Report.

United Polaris: Best US Carrier Lounge by Default

thepointsoflife

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August 20, 2019

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The United Newark Polaris Lounge Review is part of the ANA, Take Me ‘Round the World Trip Report.

One terrible thing about living in Puerto Rico is the red eye flights to New York. I’ve been intimately acquainted with JetBlue’s delayed service which gets me off the island in time to rejoin the working world.

This time, my flight was at 4AM but didn’t leave until 5AM. I arrived at 9AM to EWR in a good mood because I knew I had a day at the United Polaris Lounge without any worry about making my connection (see Cutting It Close: Will I Make My JFK-HKG Connection?).

Access

Much has been written about the limited access to the lounge. A lounge pass won’t get you in and neither will your status – two things I do not have anyway. The only way you are invited in is if you are flying international business.

Lounge Size

The place is huge. Sit where you please: by the dining room, by the windows, or in the quiet room.

Bar

Before heading to the quiet room, I went to the bar.

The bar is always the first stop, and a Bloody Mary and Miller Lite, per tradition, were ordered. I do not like peppercorn infused vodka so I did not finish it. Post Medalla, Miller Lite tastes worse than it did before.

Breakfast

I went to the dining room for breakfast. It was quiet and empty compared to much later on. I made two excellent choices and replaced the Bloody Mary with a Palona.

As far as presentation and cutlery is concerned, I give the nod to the AA Flagship Lounge in JFK. As far as food goes, on this day, Polaris came out ahead.

Quiet Room

Ready to sleep, I went to the quiet room and was disappointed to find a curved lawn chair instead of a flat bed. What’s the point of almost having a place to sleep in peace? I appreciated the United Polaris eye shades which rival Delta’s Tumi offering. On a strange note, the light kept turning on every hour or so. I was in a daze and would wake up to turn it off. I was too tired to figure out what was going on or change rooms. It happened a few times during my four hour siesta.

Shower

After a long night of travel, I thought a shower was in order. The water pressure was decent, but the Fifth Avenue towels felt like a gym sweat rag.

Zoo

I left the shower to find the lounge was jam packed. No matter how large the lounge, no matter how restricted the access, on this day, Polaris was Centurion busy. There was now a line to go to the dining room.

Buffet

Rather than waiting to be seated, I checked out the buffet. It is clear why there is a line for the dining room: the food in the buffet is disgusting. The hummus was what you’d expect in a normal United Lounge only Sam’s Club in quantity (had it been Costco, it would have been delicious). I put a few olives on my plate and headed to my seat.

a bowl of rice with vegetables — How is this paella?

Lunch

Eventually the line disappeared and I went to lunch. I ordered the famous Paper Plane to prepare for the big burger that was being prepared.

A Note on Listening to Others

I like to read other blog reviews before I go on a plane, train, or airport lounge so I don’t miss anything. It would be tragic to go to the AA Flagship Lounge in JFK and not know Krug is on tap. What I need to stop doing is copying other people’s orders. I don’t like bourbon so why am I ordering a drink with bourbon? Here, I’m referring to the Paper Plane. As obvious as it sounds, if you don’t like my taste in food/drink, you shouldn’t order it just because I did.

Caesar Disaster

A theme for Polaris, both the lounge and the flight, is that United trying too hard. Case in point was the Caesar salad which had gross croutons made out of something other than Costco bread.

a plate of salad and two glasses of liquid on a table — Paper Plane replacement

Burger Redemption

The burger was quite good, but I don’t know why they put zucchini in it. Seriously, a burger is a burger. Cook the meat right and the rest takes care of itself.

Dessert

Why not have dessert and my signature espresso and Gran Marnier?

Overall

The United Polaris lounge is a solid lounge for spending a day. It is far better than any Centurion Lounge, and besides the cutlery and Krug in AA Flagship, it is better than the AA Flagship. Since Delta Sky Clubs are unimpressive, United wins the award for best US carrier lounge by default.

If you enjoyed the United Newark Polaris Lounge Review, read the rest of the ANA, Take Me ‘Round the World Trip Report.

TPOL Alive & Well Thanks to Astrill VPN

thepointsoflife

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August 19, 2019

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Disclaimer: I get paid you if you sign up using my affiliate link. In exchange, you get a kickass VPN.

Thanks to no one for messaging me to inquire as to my whereabouts. It really is nice to know that nobody is worried if I’m alive and well. Haven’t you noticed that I haven’t posted at 10:07AM besides today? It’s actually because I’ve again shirked my blogging duties in favor of my ANA RTW Trip (see Hangover = Blogger Malpractice?). Those posts are coming really soon, not a year later (see Writing Trip Reports: How Old Is Too Old?).

I am taking a break from my ANA, Take Me ‘Round the World, to live in my favorite city Shanghai as part of yet another Trip Report, cleverly called 再見 Puerto Rico, TPOL in Shanghai. I will be sharing posts about all things good and great in Shanghai including updating my nightlife guide (see TPOL’s Guide to A Night in Shanghai).

While WordPress is accessible, the speed is very slow. To get around that, I downloaded Astrill VPN, something everyone going to China should get before landing (see VPN: A Necessary Hotel Amenity in China). Blazing internet back, I am ready to blog once again thanks to Astrill.

Siranda to Tirana: The Perfect Minibus

thepointsoflife

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August 7, 2019

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RivieraBus is part of the #NoCollusion, No Albania for TPOL where I break my 100 country count mark. See the World Map for where I’ve been.

Albania isn’t famous for its logistics (see Albanian Riviera: Beautiful, But How Do You Get There?). After my dreadful visit to the island of Corfu, I needed a ride from Saranda to Tirana. Fortunately, I found RivieraBus which left Saranda at 5PM and arrived in Tirana at 10:30PM. Included in the $40 fee was Wi-Fi throughout the journey. If you are looking for an efficient way to leave the Riviera and get to Tirana, look no further than RivieraBus.

PR Celebrity Golf: Winner Picked!

The Deal Ticker

thepointsoflife

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August 6, 2019

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Sorry that no one was able to play with TPOL before he left for his epic ATA RTW Trip. However, one lucky person did score a free round of golf at Rio Mar Golf Club. Thank you to all those that entered, and I will see you on the greens in October.

Simply The Best: July 2019

thepointsoflife

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August 5, 2019

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Numbers are up! People are reading again! That’s the good news. The bad news is that people only like posts about booking flights. Posts about getting haircuts in Albania? Not so much. Will I give the readers what they want in August or will I write what I like? I’m sure you can guess what I will do.

Here are the top posts for the month of July:

Booked! ANA RTW: 22,000 Miles in Glorious Business
I once wrote, Devaluation? I Laugh in the Face of Devaluation, and I am happy to say, I still do.
Angle Flat Lufthansa: My First Points Flight Review
Oh Alex was so young, so naive.
Award Booking OCD = Fortnite Addiction
I’ve never played Fornite. I don’t know what it is about. All I know is that it’s addicting. There’s a website which teaches parents how to deal with their kids’ addiction. There needs to be such a website for award booking addicts.
Guns & Butter: New Orleans Travel Guide (Binge Edition)
Thank you New Orleans for this memorable binge weekend. I will need at least a year to recover before I consider going back.
Happy 4th: Don’t Miss 30 for 30, The Good, The Bad, The Hungry‎
I’m still a big fan of Kobayashi and hope that one day he reclaims his title and is given the proper credit he deserves for what he has achieved. In honor of Kobayashi, this 4th of July, I will scour the island of Puerto Rico in search of a morcilla eating contest.
The Finer Things: Where to Eat & Drink in Toronto
Kawhi wanted to go home. Had he stayed in Toronto he could have had food and drink, among other things, for free.
Vote Where TPOL Moves AFTER Albania…And I’ll Go!
As they said in 2016, vote early, vote often: #nocollusion #noobstruction

Phantom Availability Solved? New Delta Website to Blame?

thepointsoflife

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August 2, 2019

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Yesterday, I wrote a beautiful metaphorical post on how Delta’s website is the Phantom of the Opera. Delta’s customer service tried to blame China Southern. Today, I am more convinced that Delta is to blame. Look at what happened when I logged in and tried like a dope to book the flight again:

The new Delta.com doesn’t give the option of 5 week calendars from the outset. It shows the date selected. From there, you can pick calendar schedule. Is it a coincidence that this new website no longer shows phantom availability? Or did Delta read my post and decide that it can’t drop chandeliers on the general public?

Either way, ’tis very strange!

Delta’s Website: The Phantom Of the Opera

thepointsoflife

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August 1, 2019

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Fool me once and you’ll fool me again because TPOL is a fool. I’ve written about how I’m the Ali of points (see Booked! ANA RTW: 22,000 Miles in Glorious Business). Now, let me describe how I’m a Ponzi scheme sucker for, once again, believing that Delta’s availability on partner airlines is real (see Mt. Kilimanjaro? Delta Points? Forget About It). And allow me to do it by interpreting the meaning of the words from the classic Phantom of the Opera song, Music of the Night.

Night time sharpens, heightens each sensation: I should be working but let me plan a trip.

Darkness stirs and wakes imagination: Sure, I could book a straightforward award, but let’s see what’s out there.

Silently the senses abandon their defenses: Hmm, maybe I can redeem Delta SkyKyat with a SkyTeam partner. How tough can that be?

Slowly, gently night unfurls its splendor: Oh there’s China Eastern, the Greyhound of the Skies, but wait, there’s China Southern!

Grasp it, sense it tremulous and tender: Wow, China Southern’s business class product looks beautiful.

Turn your face away from the garish light of day: Who needs showy Emirates? China Southern is beautifully unassuming.

Turn your thoughts away from cold, unfeeling light: Only amateurs think there are no points opportunities with Delta.

And listen to the music of the night: Look at the IFE system.

Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams: Look at those lie-flat seats.

Purge your thoughts of the life you knew before: Delta SkyKyat are worth something!

Close your eyes, let your spirit start to soar: And it’s available on so many dates from so many cities.

And you’ll live as you’ve never lived before: 90k SkyKyat? I haven’t seen a deal like this since I booked Virgin Atlantic from JNB-SFO.

Softly, deftly music shall caress you: A three hour layover in Guangzhou or five? And the flight goes to convenient SHA instead of remote PVG? I love these choices.

Hear it, feel it secretly possess you: 787 or A350 to Shanghai? Can’t go wrong with either.

Open up your mind, let your fantasies unwind: Click “Complete Reservation”.

In this darkness that you know you cannot fight: Premature celebration, fist pumping the air.

The darkness of the music of the night: “We’re sorry. The fare for the flights you selected just sold out. Please search again to view and select alternate flights.#100503A.”

Let your mind start a journey through a strange new world: Wait, how does it say 4 seats available, but it says it just sold out?!

Leave all thoughts of the life you knew before: Wait, how does it suddenly show that the only redemptions are 360k on Delta?

Let your soul take you where you long to be: Incognito mode, VPN to another city.

Only then can you belong to me: Yes, I see 90k again!

Floating, falling sweet intoxication: 787 in business!

Touch me, trust me, savor each sensation: This time it will work.

Let the dream begin, let your darker side give in: Complete Reservation!

To the power of the music that I write: “We’re sorry. The fare for the flights you selected just sold out. Please search again to view and select alternate flights.#100503A.”

The power of the music of the night: Damn you Delta! Damn you!

You alone can make my song take flight: Let me call the Medallion number.

Help me make the music of the night: Please agent, please book the flight.

I won’t spoil how Phantom of the Opera ends for those that have not seen it. I will provide further lyrics which should be sufficient to know how this expedition turned out. The role of the Phantom to be played by Delta’s customer service after speaking to two different agents about this itinerary.

Insolent boy! referring to TPOL.

This slave of fashion basking in your glory! You lazy points blogger, you think you can fly a few business class flights and trick people into thinking you are rich?

Ignorant fool! Did you really think you could use your SkyKyat for something worthwhile?

This brave young suitor, sharing in my triumph! Nice try buddy, we are Delta and we can do whatever we want i.e., we don’t guarantee bookings until they are ticketed. Sorry you foolishly transferred 28k Amex points to top off your worthless Delta account.