I’m so behind on Trip Reports that the last thing I should be doing is writing my first points flight review (see Writing Trip Reports: How Old Is Too Old?). So why am I writing about something that took place in 2012? First, I have no reviews of Lufthansa and wanted to round out a collection of reviews which includes too many to list/link here (see Flight Reviews). Second, I want to point out how spoiled I’ve become in this points game. Can you imagine flying angle flight long-haul? I hated it short-haul from Ethiopian from JNB to ADD, but at that time I thought it was such a thrill. Third, how many times have we thought that the points game was over? Remember when TPOL ruined it for everyone by giving out the biggest open secret on CNN International? Yet somehow, seven years later, despite devaluations and other dirty, rotten tricks by airlines and credit card companies, we still have enough points to fly in style. Finally, I am bringing up 2012 to declare how much I still love points booking. I was fist pumping the air when I booked this flight from DTW-FRA, and seven years later I was doing the same when I booked my epic ANA RTW Ticket.
And now, please put on your time travel suits, and join me as I write about flying business class on points for the first time. Mind you that this was when I went by Alex and not by the celebrity TPOL that you all know and love (see Simply The Best: 5 Years of T-P-O-L).
December 2012
Really, the seat actually reclines? How did I fly coach all these years?Real glasses and wine? You think they’d notice if I took one?An assortment of cheese? Is this heaven?Breakfast too! How does it get better than this?Oh look, we’re approaching Frankfurt. I wish this flight would last longer.What’s that airplane? No way it is better than this one.
July 2019
Oh Alex was so young, so naive. He didn’t know what an A380 was, let alone one what was inside of one powered by SQ (see Singapore Airlines A380 Suite Class, My Turn). How things have changed. They say you never forget your first. That is true. But seven years later, I’m blessed not to have flown my last.
Points travel is about living an upscale lifestyle without paying for it. Sure, I would like to drink Krug everyday but I cannot afford it. I also would like to go to a barber for a proper shave and haircut instead of cutting my hair in a hotel (see Fair Or Foul? Cutting Your Hair in a Hotel Room), but I can’t rationalize $20 for the buzz treatment.
When I travel abroad, I seek out authentic barbers that keep me looking good on long journeys and do not overcharge for doing it. The first installment was when I went to Marseille (see Haircuts Abroad: Marseille Edition). This is the second.
Barber shops are the place where you meet locals and where, for a moment, you believe you are part of the community. You don’t have to speak the language. You don’t have to say anything. You just have to sit back, relax, and hope your hand gestures made it clear what sort of cut you were looking for.
Worked out perfectly.
Overall
I enjoyed going to the barbershop in Albania and will seek out the next obscure country I visit for a similar experience and will continue to blog about it. If for some reason you don’t find these posts entertaining, please see a clip from my favorite barbershop:
TPOL is great at booking amazing trips. I’m just not as good finishing Trip Reports (see Writing Trip Reports: How Old Is Too Old?). The trick for Travel Guides, I’ve learned, is to write them with my Blackberry in real time and publish them later. There’s no urgency in writing those posts as what to eat, see, and drink in a city remains relatively the same. This can’t be said about posts about booking awards trips. What use is it to you, the reader, to write about my great US Air booking to Seychelles for 60k points? Thus, I’m posting the Booking ANA RTW Ticket guide right now. Let’s get to it:
Miles Required
Depending on the distance flown and the class selected, there are different mileage requirements. The best value is flying business class for greater than 20k but not more than 22k miles. That requires 125,000 ANA miles.
How to Get ANA Miles
I transferred 125k MRs and in a few days, the miles were reflected in my account. Note that ANA miles expire after 3 years from issuance and cannot be extended.
Fuel Surcharges
If there’s one drawback to ANA, it’s that you have to pay fuel surcharges depending on which airline you fly. The way to check how much fuel surcharges will be is to search on the Matrix. Many blogs say that ANA does not impose United surcharges, but they certainly do for trips to Europe.
YQ or YR denotes fuel surcharges.
In the ‘el cheapo’ days, I would be outraged if I had to pay one dollar in fuel surcharges and would try to use my Barclays Arrival card to offset such charges. Today, I don’t care and don’t have the time or desire to MS my way to a few hundreds in savings (see I’m Done with Manufactured Spending). Here, the fuel surcharges came out to $1022. Que desastre!
You must choose to fly east-west or west-east — you are NOT allowed to backtrack: ANA allowed to fly to Beirut via Istanbul and then to Shanghai via Istanbul. Initially, I thought it was absolutely not allowed to go backwards. From what I’ve read and with my experience, you just can’t backtrack from one continent to another.
You must cross both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans — only once each as per the rule above: Easily done.
Include up to 12 segments and include 4 ground transfer segments. I could only get to 10. Obviously, direct flights are your best bet.
Up to 8 stopovers are allowed. If you have all the time in the world, take the stopovers. I do not but am still satisfied with the routing.
Up to 3 in Europe
Up to 4 in Japan
Your trip must span at least 10 days from the date of your first international departure. Would love to see someone do this in 11.
Flights may be operated by ANA or Star Alliance partners. From what I read, you cannot fly Etihad and book flights with Star Alliance Partners. Juneyao Air, an airline based out of Shanghai, is a United partner but not a Star Alliance partner.
Your itinerary must touch all three zones — what ANA calls “Areas” and return to the one from which you start the trip. As you’ll see from my GCMAP, I had to fly from New York and return to New York. I tried to fly from Puerto Rico and return to New York but was told that Puerto Rico is not part of the United States. That’s interesting to learn.
Where I’m Going
GCMAP is nice to look at, but where will TPOL be spending his time? My first stop is Sardinia, a new ‘country’ to add to my list (see Where I’ve Been and Is Hawaii a Country?). From there I go to Lebanon, a country in the traditional sense of the word that I have always wanted to see. #hummus After that I’m going to be living in Shanghai (see 再見 Puerto Rico, TPOL in Shanghai). While I’m in China I’m going back to Chengdu, this time to see the pandas, Nepal to detox, and Bhutan to find happiness. Then I’m off to New York for work and back to beautiful Puerto Rico for golf.
Airline Choices
United vs. Lufthansa
I used to get excited when I saw Lufthansa availability and would be annoyed when I saw United. Those days have changed. The reviews for Lufthansa business are underwhelming, while the reviews for real United Polaris are anything but. It took a lot of effort, but I found a Dreamliner 787 Polaris flight from EWR to BRU.
I finally get to fly EVA. Will there be Krug? Will there be a Kitty saying hello?
Booking
It’s easy, almost too easy, to book an ANA RTW ticket. Unlike most ticketing centers, the ANA representatives want you to feed them the flight numbers. And if something is not available, you don’t have to hang up and call back after you’ve figured it out. They help you find something else.
TPOL’s TIP: You have 72 hours to put your ticket on hold, but ANA will not guarantee that tickets will actually be there when you’re ready to book (see Award Booking OCD = Fortnite Addiction).
Total Mileage Flown
I wanted to get as close to 22k miles as possible. GCMAP says I topped out at 21,589, but ANA says I am at 21,879. I’ll go with ANA’s official mileage in measuring how close I came to squeezing every mile in business.
The Airline Spreadsheet
I’m known for my beautiful spreadsheets. ANA is in blue. JetBlue is in green and the revenue ticket to BCN is in orange. The rest of the spreadsheet with hotels and other stops will be in an upcoming post.
Overall
I once wrote, Devaluation? I Laugh in the Face of Devaluation, and am happy to say, I still do. Maybe this points game will come to an end one day, but at this rate, I think I’ll be dead before that happens. #pointsnewdeal #tpol2020 #tpol2024
I’ve never played Fornite. I don’t know what it is about. All I know is that it’s addicting. There’s a website which teaches parents how to deal with their kids’ addiction. There needs to be such a website for award booking addicts.
While planning my move to Shanghai, I wanted the easiest route to get there. Somehow that turned into an all encompassing project. Should I fly Emirates and burn 180k Alaska points? Should I transfer points to Etihad and fly AA for 50k miles? Should I use my Alaska points for a conservative booking on Hainan for 55k? How about ANA roundtrip? Or, should I outsource this project to someone else?
Any of the above choices could be rationalized, but I cannot excuse myself for paying for a trial service of an automated award booking service. Until award booking services become powered by Google’s DeepMind, I will trust my ingenuity and persistence in finding the best use of my points. I also feel that piecing together complex itineraries on my own and getting them to ticket is second only to flying premium for next to nothing.
Now that I have that off my chest, let’s get back to the process as they call it in Philly.
I didn’t go with any of the options above. In fact, I still don’t have anything booked. What I do have is a close relationship with ANA’s customer service whom I have called multiple times to make dozens of changes to my round the world itinerary. That’s right. What was supposed to be a direct flight to Shanghai (with possibly a stopover in Dubai) has turned into galactic struggle to circumnavigate the globe in style. This will rival my past accomplishments (see The $77,000 Trip Heard Round the World and Do You Believe in Miracles? Emirates Showers, Dreamliner Suites, Tahiti Triumph!).
As I write this post at 10:07PM, 12 hours before the standard 10:07AM post time, I will admit that I stopped for the evening not because I am tired nor because I have given up. I hit the pause button because the tax desk is closed for the evening and won’t be open until tomorrow. I have two final hurdles: 1) What flight to take to Frankfurt/Munich? The Lufthansa seat arrangements don’t look great, but ‘real’ United Polaris is impossible to find. 2) How can I use the remaining 635 miles to come as close to 22,000 miles, the limit for 125k ANA mile business class tickets?
Fortunately, ANA only allows these tickets to be placed on hold for 72 hours. Otherwise, my Fortnite award booking addiction could go on forever. To that end, I cannot say the end is near. All my efforts may be for naught as tickets on hold mean nothing until they are ticketed by the partner airlines. The perverse part of my personality slightly hopes everything gets turned upside down so I can see if I can do it all over again.
What about you? Are you an OCD points booker? Or have you sold your soul to award booking services that charge for what you can get for free?
You wasted $150,000 on an education you coulda got for $1.50 in late fees at the public library.
If you’ve ever wanted to meet TPOL the celebrity, now is your chance before TPOL moves to China. Not only will you an opportunity to make the Happy Festivus! Airing of Points Grievances list, you will also have the opportunity to play a free round of golf with me. If no one claims this golden opportunity, I am having a giveaway for the free pass which expires at the end of September, incidentally the same time that TPOL returns.
Now, I’m relocating to Shanghai during hurricane season (follow the 再見 Puerto Rico, TPOL in Shanghai Trip Report here), coming back to beautiful Puerto Rico, and then heading to Albania in the spring. To make life fun and to prove to voters once and for all that TPOL is trustworthy and not a mamab*&#! #rickyrenuncia, I’m having another election to decide my home after Albania. The criteria for the finalists is as follows:
Here are the cities in alphabetical order and the corresponding Nomadlist ranking:
Kiev, Ukraine (#10)
Minsk, Belarus (#44)
Tallinn, Estonia (#35)
Tbilisi, Georgia (#60)
Vilnius, Lithuania (#31)
Voting is open from today and ends one week after I complete my recap of all the choices available. Judging by my laziness as a blogger (see Hangover = Blogger Malpractice?), that may be when I arrive in Albania.
As they said in 2016, vote early, vote often: #nocollusion #noobstruction
Another Trip Report in the books. Though it was short, it was certainly great. Here is the recap of how it went down in case you missed any of it because you were in Vietnam.
As you know, if the bowl is done, TPOL had his fun. Without Cochran rhymes, I will recommend Pho Bowl, especially when happy hour turns into hungry hour.
Centurion Lounges no longer impress me. I don’t feel bad that I no longer have my own access to them and don’t care to free ride with someone that does. Leave me at the gate, thank you.
TPOL’s Guns & Butter Travel Guide is the best way to see as much as you can in as little time as possible. Here’s how it works – A trip is composed of two factors: Labor And Lazy. The opportunity cost (what is given up) for relaxing and being Lazy is gained by being adventurous in the form of Labor and vice versa. The guide includes inefficient activities i.e., tourist traps that should be avoided and aspirational activities that are worth doing but may be impossible to see given the constraints of time and resources.
Now let’s get to the New Orleans Travel Guide.
You think you know New Orleans food and drink? You know nothing! The marathon of my food and drink experience began at 9PM on a Friday and ended 48 hours later. What I ate and drank during that time was both delicious and disturbing.
Let’s begin:
Friday
Napoleon’s
The first stop was Napoleon’s. Not looking to get anything too heavy, we had the seafood gumbo and an alligator po’ boy. Wash it down with a Pimm’s Cup.
Verdict: Gumbo was okay. I’ll see you later alligator and another Pimm’s is a good decision.
TPOL’s TIP: Napoleon’s is located at 500 Chartres St.
Pat O’Briens
An obligatory stop both on Friday and Saturday was Pat O’Briens. Many places boast about having ‘world famous’ this or that. Here, the hurricanes are world famous as are the cups.
Verdict: Just like the old days, Pat OBrien’s hurricanes are delicious.
TPOL’s TIP
Pat Obrien’s is located at 718 St Peter.
Saturday
Friday was tame. Saturday was anything but.
Breakfast
Looking for a serious, upscale breakfast? Go to Brennan’s. There we had rabbit along with a nice twist on the Bloody Mary – the Bloody Bull. Beef broth in a drink is very good.
Verdict: I wish I could go there every weekend for breakfast. Don’t forget to order the biscuits.
TPOL’s TIP: Brennan’s is located at 417 Royal St.
Cafe Du Monde: This place is a zoo of powder. Get in, sit down, and order the coffee of your choice along with 3 beignets. I don’t know how anyone can eat more than one.
Verdict: I may get hate mail, but I think this place is overrated and the service is far from New Orleans friendly.
TPOL’s TIPs:
This place is cash only.
There is no line to be seated. Skip the group of tourists lined up and go find a table.
Cafe Du Monde is located 800 Decatur Street.
Tabasco Store: TPOL’s favorite hot sauce is Tabasco (see Put Some Hot Sauce on My Burrito Baby! The World’s Best Hot Sauce). Tabasco is made in Avery Island, Louisiana. While I didn’t go there for a tour, I had to go in the store and see what goodies they had.
Verdict: Tabasco chocolate is not great.
Johnny’s Po-Boys
Johnny is the place for po’ boys, and shrimp is the kind to get. Have it dressed which means it comes with melted butter and pickles.
Verdict: I wish I could go here every weekend as well. No need to eat po’ boys at a restaurant when there’s Johnny’s.
TPOL’S TIPs:
If the front is full, there’s seating in the back.
Johnny’s Po-Boys is located at 511 St Louis St.
The Original French Market: Looking for crawdads or crayfish as they’re called? Go to The Original French Market where $13 gets you a boat full.
TPOL’S TIPs
Bring an expert peeler.
The Original French Market is located at 1001 Decatur St.
A Pause from the New Orleans Travel Guide
Take a moment to catch your breath.
Resuming the New Orleans Travel Guide
Sightseeing
See the sights of New Orleans, take some pictures, buy some souvenirs.
Check out the shirt.
Permanent Sleep
As tired as you might be, head to the St. Louis No. 1 cemetery to realize that you’re still alive. I didn’t go inside because I didn’t want to pay $20 for a mandatory guided tour (see New Orleans Cemetery: Why You Have to Pay Admission).
Verdict: I’m still alive. Let’s go drink more.
TPOL’S TIP: St. Louis No. 1 cemetery is located at 425 Basin St, New Orleans.
Grenades
What’s a trip to Bourbon Street without a grenade?
Verdict: TPOL is getting drunk and slightly full.
TPOL’S TIP: Progress has come to the city of binge. Grenades can now be made with Splenda. That’s better for your hangover.
Cigar Factory
Have a cigar and walk down Bourbon.
Verdict: Gordito Maduro was my cigar of choice. And a great choice it was.
TPOL’S TIP: Cigar Factory is located at 206 Bourbon St.
Pat Obrien’s
Goes without saying because I already said it.
Chophouse
Want a way to end the evening and blow the budget? Go to Chophouse. I recommend the beef carpaccio, porterhouse steak, onion rings with Bleu cheese (they don’t do Ranch), and a side of spinach. Getting a bottle of wine and dirty martinis may be too much. Getting cheesecake was definitely too much.
Verdict: So much, so good.
TPOL’s TIPs:
Don’t make a dinner reservation at an upscale steakhouse after what you did all day.
Don’t worry if you can’t finish your wine. The waiter will cork the wine for you and provide a plastic cup for the rest. That way you can walk down Bourbon Street with style and class.
Chophouse is located at 322 Magazine St.
Wine to go
Bourbon Street Again
Bourbon Street is a fun place. I also believe if there is a hell, this is the entrance to it. Before going home, take advantage of the generous 3 for 1 deal that many bars offer.
TPOL’S TIP: Ignore everything TPOL says.
Sunday
Breakfast: See wine above + Bourbon Street’s 3 for 1
TPOL’S TIP: Stay positive. This is normal.
Jockeys Pub & Sports Bar
An obligatory detour before Jazz Fest is Jockeys Pub & Sports Bar. It’s walking distance to Jazz Fest and is a marvelous place to keep the binge going. The oysters should not be missed.
Verdict: Best decision of the day.
TPOL’s TIP: Jockeys Pub & Sports Bar is located at 1841 Gentilly Blvd.
Jazz Fest
Did you know TPOL hates concerts? I love music but I do not like standing around in the heat watching others perform. It must have something to do with my egocentric personality and not being the center of attention.
How is this fun?
Unlike most, I was ready to leave Jazz Fest only an hour after arriving. The delay in my exit was from the food tour:
Crawfish Etouffee
Add this to what I can eat everyday.
Muffuletta
Don’t know exactly what it is but could eat one once a week.
Cracklings
The only bad thing I ate in New Orleans.
TPOL’S TIPs:
If you like concerts, go to Jazz Fest. If you hate concerts, go to Jazz Fest for the food.
If you don’t want to pay full price and want to check out Jazz Fest, read TPOL’s Ticket Scalping Primer.
This restaurant is the tops. A new menu is printed each day. The lobster dumplings were incredible, and the Scalibut (Halibut with scallops) was the right choice.
Make a reservation days before you arrive. It is always packed.
There is a dress code. How enforced it is, I have no idea.
GW Fins is located at 808 Bienville St.
Bourbon Street
You can go out on Bourbon Street again or you can go to sleep. I don’t blame you if you do the latter.
Hyatt Centric, my refuge
Pay for It All
Three nights in New Orleans was not cheap, even with points paying for the hotel. I worked off my debt the best way I knew how.
TPOL’S TIP: Not all money is made in arbitration (visit Bachuwa Law).
What I Missed
Whatever it was, I didn’t have the energy for it anyway. But in terms of Guns & Butter, I would recommend going to New Orleans for the Sugar Bowl (see Celebrating Brady Hoke) and, the obvious other event, Mardi Gras.
One Last Thing
Be sure to sing “The Saints” whenever you hear it.
Overall
Thank you New Orleans for this memorable binge weekend. I will need at least a year to recover before I consider going back.
Getting There: Uber is the best way to get to Bourbon.
I refer to Bourbon Street as the entrance to hell in my Guns & Butter: New Orleans Travel Guide post because it is. To be clear, there’s much more to New Orleans than Bourbon Street. But it’s impossible to say New Orleans, let alone go to New Orleans, without thinking of Bourbon Street. Bourbon Street is a one stop shop for all vices. It is an unrelenting force that will swallow you whole if you stick around for too long. What proof do I have? Take the drink specials: Where else in the world are there 3 for 1 drink specials? And why would anyone want 3 drinks at a time?
Bourbon Street ranks ahead of Time Square for the biggest tourist trap in the United States. From dancers to magicians to other sideshow acts, the overstimulation from Bourbon Street is something out of a horror movie or something from the Book of Revelation.
These signs bolster my point
Enter the Hyatt Centric Bourbon Street which has the dubious privilege of being located steps away from Bourbon. Enter the Hyatt Centric Bourbon street, literally this time, and you will find yourself at peace. First and most remarkably, you won’t hear any of the commotion coming from Bourbon Street when you’re in the hotel. Second and most importantly, you won’t be able to see the filth of Bourbon Street if you’re blessed to have a room with no windows.
The Room
Never before has a room been so comfortable. Never before has a room been so serene. Never before have I cared so little about not having a view.
Skeletons in Your Closet
What skeletons do you have in your closet? If you’ve picked some up on Bourbon Street, there’s plenty of space for them in this room.
The Shower
Never before has a shower been so reinvigorating. Never before has a bathroom been such a sanctuary.
The Service
My guardian angel was the staff who told me how and when to go to Jazz Fest and who never judged me after consecutive nights of remarkable binging (see New Orleans Travel Guide again).
The first time I went to New Orleans was to see Michigan win a bowl game, a rarity. Overwhelmed with Bourbon and bourbon (one being the street, the other being the poison), I didn’t make it to the St. Louis No. 1 cemetery. This time, despite my binge of food and drink, I made time to visit. When I arrived, I was surprised to learn that there is a $20 charge per person for a guided tour. I was told that the Catholic Archdiocese imposes the charge and that regardless of my Catholic faith, I would have to pay. While I was able to negotiate for Jazz Fest tickets, I didn’t get far with Gabriel, the doorman. Hopefully, I will have better luck on judgment day.
Skeptical that the charge was valid and put off by paying so much when I paid nothing to visit La Recoleta in Buenos Aires, I left, but not before a feeble attempt to see what was inside.
Later in the day, I stopped at a tourism office to ask if there is a charge to enter. The woman confirmed that it is $20 and that it was imposed after Hurricane Katrina to prevent further vandalism. Someone had actually painted the tomb of Voodoo queen Maria Laveau Pepto-Bismol pink. Though I am technically Catholic, I am more superstitious than religious and would not dare to disturb the tomb of a voodoo queen.
Pointless vandalism
TPOL’s TIP: Other cemeteries in New Orleans do not charge an entry fee, but they are not within walking distance of the French Quarter.
