This is the resumption of yet another Trip Report. This one is called Carnival Jamaica: TPOL Goes to Candy Land.
I have been to two carnivals in my life: one in Rio (see Guns & Butter: Rio de Janeiro Travel Guide) and one in Trinidad (see Last Minute Trinidad Carnival Guide! Everything You Need to Know And Stuff You Will Figure Out On Your Own!). I was ready to go to my third, but Covid killed that idea in 2020 and 2021 and then a ruptured Achilles ruined that idea in 2022 (see Jamaica Carnival Postponed).
After years of waiting, I am happy to say that I am finally going next week. My band is Bacchanal Jamaica and the theme is Candy Land. I have no idea what I am getting myself into but am ready nonetheless.
Carnival Jamaica: TPOL Goes to Candy Land Next Week
Steven Wins TPOL’S March Madness Bracket!
It’s not even tip-off and the winner of TPOL’s March Madness can be declared. It is my fixer, Steven. By fixer I don’t mean the one in the news these days. I mean my general contractor. You have one year to claim your prize. And if you don’t, I won’t remind you, nor will I extend this offer to a runner-up.
March Madness: If UConn Wins Steven Comes, Otherwise It’s a Free Uber
This is the worst March Madness in history, and it will only get worse thanks to NIL and the transfer portal. Does anyone care to watch SDSU against FAU? Unlike the World Baseball Classic, this game will have the worst ratings in history. I hope UConn wins for two reasons:
1.) I have always been a fan of UConn and believe they were screwed by the NCAA.
2.) I have to cheer against the current leader in the bracket who happens to live in PR and does not read the blog.
A victory for him would mean an Uber ride from Island Verde to Rio Grande, assuming he cares to celebrate his victory. A UConn triumph would mean my former tiler and avid TPOL follower would fly down to PR for a fun weekend. While he is here, I would have no choice but to put him to work, a plan he believes I hatched from the outset.
Go UConn!
Simply The Best: March 2023
What’s great about March? Not the Madness (see TPOL’s March Madness Standings). The best part of March was this fabled blog turning 9 (see Simply The Best: TPOL, The Professor, Turns 9!). Here’s what else happened:
- I’ve Done Too Much, Now What? 9 Places I Have No Interest in Seeing
Instead of coming out of the Rodgers darkness re-energized, I am more of a curmudgeon. - Wild One: TPOL’s Top Daredevil Activities
What is the craziest, most adventurous activity you have done? - Wide World of Sports: The Best of Where I’ve Been
I am running out of stuff I want to do in life, especially in the world of sport. - Per Time Magazine, TPOL Lives in One of the World’s Greatest Places
What more can one ask for? - Shogun Madrid: Hibiki, Kobe, & Wagyu
To cap off my local Asian food in Spain experience, I went to Shogun, an upscale Japanese BBQ. - Espectacular Carne, Callos, Y Vino: Taberna El Rincon Madrid
Try this place. Hardcore madrileños only. No tourists. I challenge you to find better callos anywhere. The place has been there for like 100 years. - Most Wanted: GUILTY Cookie Shop Madrid
Do people in America really want the cookie and go out of their way to buy them? Or have Americans only heard of the GUILTY cookie but, given the location of the shop, could only long for such a cookie?
I’ve Done Too Much, Now What? 9 Places I Have No Interest in Seeing
TPOL is going through a blog-life crisis. The blog recently turned 9 (see Simply The Best: TPOL, The Professor, Turns 9!) prompting me to reflect on all that I have done (see Wide World of Sports: The Best of Where I’ve Been & Wild One: TPOL’s Top Daredevil Activities) and take stock of what I want to do. Instead of coming out of the Rodgers darkness re-energized, I am more of a curmudgeon. Accordingly, and in keeping with my blog age, I have put together a list of 9 places I have no interest in seeing the traditional way.
- Galapagos Islands: Fools spend tens of thousands of dollars going to the Galapagos. The better way of doing it is to show up on-site, hope for a cancellation, and see the exact same sea turtles at a discount.
- Silverback Gorillas: Gorilla trekking is expensive, especially if you begin said trek in Rwanda or Uganda. The better alternative is to go through DRC. It’s the same gorillas with a huge savings.
- The Summer Olympics: I will eventually make it to a Summer Olympics. Unless I buy the tickets retail, I will wait until I am in person to secure seats to the big events (see The Guide to Buying Tickets for the World Cup And Other Big Events).
- The Super Bowl: Many sportswriters have said that the Super Bowl is overrated because of the pageantry. Unless I receive free Bills or Lions tickets, I will not pay the exorbitant price (see Bills Lose, But Who Can Afford Super Bowl Tickets?). For the same thrill, I will go to the Grey Cup!
- Outer Space: I was hoarding my Virgin points to go to Japan on ANA first. Unfortunately, this redemption devalued (see Virgin Atlantic Devaluation: I Waited Too Long). With banks failing, perhaps the redemption rates on Virgin Galactic will go down. Until then, I will not pay the slightly excessive fee to go into outer space.
- New Years: When I was a lifelong student or a subordinate of the cubicle, I made it a point to be somewhere special for New Years (see Happy New Year! TPOL’s NYC NYE Party Guide). Now that I am life experience rich, I no longer have to follow the masses to an overcrowded party for overpriced libations.
- Overwater Bungalows: I am very happy that I have been to Tahiti, Seychelles, Mauritius, and Maldives. I am lucky that I was able to get and stay there in style on points. I am even luckier that the sun was out for most of the time. As a resident of one of the greatest places in the world (see Per Time Magazine, TPOL Lives in One of the World’s Greatest Places), I feel for tourists who come here, overpay for a parking lot view, and have their vacation ruined by rain. I still have a few aspirational islands to visit (see 55K Alaskan to Fiji And My New Melbourne Residence) and hope that my luck doesn’t run out.
- Michigan: They say you can never go home. I hope they are right, and I never have to go back to Michigan. I’ll catch Michigan at a Final Four and National Championship game, eventually.
- The Afterlife: Unless the afterlife is an SQ Lounge, I have no interest in doing anything past this life. While some may pray that I end up in eternal damnation (see Delta Sky Clubs), my fear is wasting away in purgatory until my fast pass to heaven clears (see Why I Still Don’t Like the Turkish Lounge in IST).
JetBlue Clawback with Failed Attempt at Humor
I received this from JetBlue:
I checked my account and saw that they had credited me 2k points and then debited me 2k. I am not upset that they corrected the error. I found their attempt at humor to be lame.
Wild One: TPOL’s Top Daredevil Activities
What is the craziest, most adventurous activity you have done? Like going to sports events worldwide (see Wide World of Sports: The Best of Where I’ve Been), I’m running out of must dares. Here’s a recap and ranking of my favorites in order of perceived danger:
- Whale Swimming Tonga: What Was I Thinking?
- Bungee jumping in Zimbabwe (see 3,2,1 Bungee! Bungee Jumping Victoria Falls).
- Category 3 rapids in Bhutan (see Finding Happiness: Bhutan Day 3)
- Paragliding in Pokhara (see Paragliding Pokhara: Born to Be Alive)
- Crocodiles in Darwin (see Guns & Butter: Darwin Travel Guide)
- Swimming with ‘Great Whites’ in South Africa (see Ripoff Alert! Great White Cage Diving in South Africa with SharkLady Adventures)
- Zip-lines in Costa Rica (see Guns & Butter: Liberia Travel Guide)
- Hot Air Balloon in Luxor (see Guns & Butter: Luxor Travel Guide)
- Devils’ Pool in Zambia (see The Devil’s Pool Zambia: Lounging Atop Victoria Falls)
- Swimming with Sharks in Moorea (see Swimming with Sharks & Stingrays in Moorea)
- Safari in Kenya (see Maasai Mara: Day 1 of Safari & Amboseli National Park: My Second Beautiful Safari)
- Touring the Salt Flats of Bolivia (see The Definitive Guide to Going)
Per Time Magazine, TPOL Lives in One of the World’s Greatest Places
Whenever there is a list of the top places to go, everyone takes a look to see how many of those places he has visited and makes an assessment on the list depending on whether said places have been seen. I did the exact opposite. I published a list of places where you should not go (see Places NOT to Visit). When I came across Time’s World Greatest Places of 2023, naturally I had to look and count how many I have seen. I was initially dismayed that I had only been to 16/50, a poor ratio compared to my Country Count of 131/330. I almost dismissed the list rationalizing that they picked obscure places for the sake of picking obscure places. This instantly changed when I saw Rio Grande on the list. Rio Grande is the municipality that is home to my bubble, Rio Mar (see House Hunters Puerto Rico: TPOL Finds His Home). Now, the list made sense. Where else is everything so beautiful and only a golf cart ride away? After five weeks of residency in Madrid, it only took a few seconds to remember.
TPOL’s March Madness Standings
For those who entered, one of you will be receiving a free flight to PR. For those who didn’t, maybe you’ll wise up by next year.
I continue to prove that I am horrible at sports gambling.
Wide World of Sports: The Best of Where I’ve Been
I am running out of stuff I want to do in life (see I’ve Done Too Much, Now What?), especially in the world of sport. While I have been to many sports events around the world (see The Stadium Guide), these are the highlights in order of greatness:
- The 2004 NBA Finals (Pistons beat the dreadful Lakers in Game 5).
- The 1998 Rose Bowl (Michigan beat Washington State to claim the national championship).
- The 2002 NHL Western Conference Finals (Red Wings blanked the dreadful Avalanche 7-0, forcing Patrick Roy into retirement).
- The Game in Columbus in 2016 (Michigan was robbed by the refs, contributing factor was Harbaugh’s stupidity (see The Game: A Wolverine’s Guide For Surviving Columbus)).
Who reverses on 4th and 1 short call? Crooked refs, that’s who. - The Final Four in 2013 and 2018 (Michigan lost to Louisville, title since vacated (see Final 4 Free). Michigan lost to Villanova (see Final Four San Antonio: Go Blue! Left Blue)).
The Road Ended There. Now we have terrible Juwan Howard. Bring Back Beilein. - The Big House in 2004. (Michigan comes back to beat little brother after being down 17 in the 4th (see The Best Sports Stadiums: The Big House)).
- El Clásico! in 2023 (see El Clásico! Tickets, Game, Pre & Post Libations Guide).
They lost, I still won. - The World Cup in Pontiac, Michigan in 1994 and The World Cup in Doha, Qatar in 2022 (see Coupe du Monde Trip Report).
Representing Iraq in Qatar. - A Bullfight in Madrid (see A Range of Emotions).
- The World Baseball Classic in 2017 in Guadalajara, Mexico (see Kenny Powers’ Stadium).
