I was reluctant to go to Mama Pho NYC because I had a bad experience at another pho joint called Mama Pho (see Mama Pho Warsaw? More Like Mama Huhu). But since it was the closest result after Googling ‘pho near me,’ I gave it a chance.
According to runawayrice.com, star anise is a key pho spice. It adds a slightly bittersweet and licorice-like aroma and taste to pho broth. At Mama Pho, the chef must believe that star anise should be the dominant spice. It was all I could taste. While I love Sambuca, I don’t want an extra large bowl of it.
Grease
What rhymes with anise? The answer is grease. And that’s what this bowl was, a big bucket of grease.
Meat
The beef was dry and old. It looked like it had sat out for too long.
Onions
What lazy person cut these onions? Huge pieces everywhere in all shapes and sizes.
Summer Rolls
The summer rolls came out after the pho. I hoped that it would be a good dessert. It was not. Like the beef in the pho, the shrimp was stale.
Large Bowl
I always order a large bowl and I usually finish it. Here, I was given a medium bowl by mistake. That was fine with me because I had no intention of drinking the broth. Unfortunately, the employee realized he gave me the wrong size and brought me a supplemental bowl. Like when I was in Darwin, I didn’t want to be rude but I also didn’t want to eat it. Unlike Darwin, I didn’t send it back. I forced myself to have a few spoons before giving up.
I have no airline status and after flying AA ‘first’ (see AA SJU-MIA-LAS: Borracho in Business (First)), I will reaffirm that I’m fine with it. If you have status on a domestic carrier, chances are that you are flying too much for a thankless job. Chances are that you are a Hyatt Globalist staying too frequently at Hyatt Place. That is not the life.
When I returned from Vegas, I found myself back in peasant class, right where I belong. In fact, I was in the last row of the plane, on a full flight, no less.
I settled in and peacefully endured the three hour flight.
While I had no luck going to Vegas, I was pleasantly surprised that my flight to Puerto Rico was almost empty.
Overall
In the US, unless I’m flying lie-flat, I’m fine flying coach.
I am proud to say that I know nothing about suitcases. I have been traveling with the same Osprey carry-on since 2009 and have only changed the backpack, which is also Osprey.
So when Dan said what he said, I should have taken it as a compliment. Besides the Arab favorite Mary Samsonite, I know nothing about suitcases. Like my view of visas, I regarded clunky suitcases as necessary instruments used by people like my grandma to bring over spices back from Iraq. I always assumed that half the stuff in the suitcase would be broken and the other half would be confiscated ‘randomly’ by TSA (see ‘Randomly’ Screened at Tiniest Airport & Traveling While Arab? Pack Your Sense of Humor).
As it turns out, there is a world beyond Samsonite, a world for the distinguished traveler. Leaving Vegas, I happened to stumble upon that world in the Crystals Mall next to the Aria (see Sweet Life). Along with the typical brands of Hermes, Gucci, and Lanvin, the mall had a Rimowa store. I had to go in and see for myself what the fuss was all about.
For $5,750, you can buy a chess attaché. Unsophisticated, I had to Google ‘attaché’ to see what it meant in the context of luggage. It is short for attaché case which is “a small, flat, rectangular case used for carrying documents.” For $4,625, you can buy a poker attaché. For $2,125, if you are Lyman Zerga, you can buy ‘a briefcase for the new generation.‘ Finally, if you want to buy the Rimowa version of the suitcase I had, you can spend $1,430.
Why would anyone spend that much on a suitcase? My grandma loved her spices, but surely there are cheaper ways to ensure they are secure. I like my tennis racket which was damaged in the Delta flight, but it would be more efficient to buy a hard case for it than to spend this much on one piece of luggage. Even if I were richer than I am now, why would I put and trust such beautiful luggage in the hands of the guys with the ear muffs? Do you think they care that it is a Rimowa?
Thank you Dan for reminding me that I am Saul Bloom and not some hustled sucker. Perhaps when I rob the vault at the Bellagio, I can store my cash in a Rimowa on the way to the private terminal at Harry Reid. Until then, I am sticking with my bargain brand piece of plastic from TJ Maxx.
Why do I always receive suite upgrades when I am unable to make the most use out of them? I was in Vegas for two nights. The first night I went back to my cheap, go-to option, the Hyatt Place for 9k points (see The Hyatt Place Las Vegas Review: No Dice). Arriving at midnight, it didn’t make sense to pay or use points for an on-strip option. And, given that my conference was at the UNLV Law School, Hyatt Place was ideal for the location.
The second night, I used an expiring Marriott stay cert and booked a room at the Aria. I didn’t arrive at the Aria until 8PM on a Friday. I was impressed yet disappointed that I would only have a few hours in this tower suite.
Rather than write a separate review for each leg, I will commit blogger malpractice and put it all in here.
Flight Delayed
At the time of booking, the only itinerary available arrived in MIA at 6:50PM and departed at 7:51PM. Any delays would cost me my connection and force me to miss my conference the next day. If this was an international connection and not an interline ticket, I would not take that chance (Cutting It Close: Will I Make My JFK-HKG Connection?). But, since it was domestic and since I was not checking bags, I assumed everything would be fine. Assumption wrong. The day of departure, I received a notification that my flight from SJU would be delayed. I immediately called AA and asked if they had other options. They said yes, but I would have to be at the gate in an hour.
I hung up the phone, threw clothes in my carry-on, and hustled out the door. With no traffic, I can make it from Rio Grande to SJU in 22 minutes. While there was mild traffic, I was still making good time. Not one to text and drive, I nevertheless broke my rule to check the status of my flight. I was relieved that it was delayed by thirty minutes. I arrived at the airport in 26 minutes to find that my flight was further delayed. This gave me enough time to go to the Priority Pass Lounge (see Priority Pass Lounge San Juan: A Good Start).
Sipping on a Don Q and Coke Zero, I noted that my paranoia about missing connections should be extended to include business obligations (see Travel Lessons). The thrill of making it is what makes travel fun, but here it was unnecessary.
Leg 1: SJU-MIA
If I’m flying from San Juan to Miami, I’m fine flying coach. The flight time is less than three hours. I splurged for business/first because the flight from Miami to Vegas is over five hours. Even contortionist TPOL can’t sit in coach for that long anymore (see The Kama Sutra of Airplane Sleep: Surviving a 17 Hour Flight).
Here’s what you receive if you fly business from SJU-MIA:
No Wi-Fi: “There should be,” is what the flight attendant said when I asked about the unavailability of Wi-Fi. The Wi-Fi never worked and the flight attendant didn’t bother following up with an update.
Guess I’ll stare at the wall.
Too Hot a Towel
This thing was scalding hot.
Decent Food
What is the butter for?
Weird Movie Choices
Contagion? Really?
Inconsistent Service: Flying domestic, it feels like a sin to hit the call button. Unlike SQ where the flight attendants can sense the needs of their passengers, domestic carriers make it seem like they’re doing us a favor when they come by. Sitting in the front row, I made eye contact with the flight attendant. She impatiently said, “I’ll be there in a minute.” What could she be doing in a cabin with 16 people none of whom is asking for anything? While waiting, a flight attendant from coach walked by. She turned off my call light and said they’d get to me when they are free. This is insanity, I thought to myself. Is the flight attendant prepping for her next flight, I wondered. And the attitude. It’s like she thinks I’m interrupting her obligation to fly the plane.
Ding!
Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, the flight attendant came out with more vino and entertained my request for my fifth drink, a Jack and Coke Zero. On top of that, she gave me an extra pilota for my enjoyment.
Perhaps I’m the impatient one. Or, perhaps, I’m looking to fault domestic carriers because I’ve bought into the stereotype that they’re inferior. Or, perhaps, I’m guilty of ageism. I see an older flight attendant and automatically think, “Here we go.” And, perhaps, she sees another antsy passenger in ‘first’ and has the same thought.
Overall
I would skip business on AA from SJU to MIA and sit in the back where being ignored is expected.
My strategy was to drink my way through this long 5.5-hour flight. One more glass of wine should have been enough for me to pass out. What I failed to take into account was how uncomfortable AA’s business class seat is. Unlike Fiji Airways‘ amazing 737 (see Fiji Airways Nadi to Tonga: The Best Business 737 Experience), this 737 had no foot rest and the seat barely reclined. I attempted to sleep but could not. I was too far from the window to lay my head. The tray table was too close so I could not lay my head there either. Exhausted, I wanted to sleep on the floor. Uneasy, I thought maybe I could catch a few zzz’s by sleeping in the toilet. In the end, none of it worked. I was trapped. All I could feel was that rusty nail going through my skull. I learned yet another Travel Lesson: don’t drink and fly if you can’t lie flat.
First bad idea.Second bad idea.
Overall
Businsess, ‘first,’ or whatever you want to call it, that was brutal.
Overall, Overall
This was a miserable experience. I need to get rich and fly private. Or stay sober and sit in economy.
TPOL is going to Vegas this weekend. The last time I was there was 2018. I was supposed to go after COVID in 2021, but I canceled (see No Vegas for TPOL). For this trip, I was supposed to leave from Medellin to Miami to LAS for 30k AA miles. Interestingly, the flight from MDE to MIA was in business, and the flight from MIA to LAS was in first.
What I wanted to see was the difference between ‘business’ in a 737 and ‘first’ in a 737. Neither, according to Seatguru, are lie flat. Unfortunately, I had to cancel this trip and will now be flying in business from San Juan to MIA to LAS, both in 737 ‘business,’ oddly enough.
An executive platinum friend says that there is no difference between first and business on AA 737s. He claims it’s just an excuse to charge more. Ever the optimist, I said there must be something better about flying ‘first.’ Perhaps they offer more cookies.
Were you one of the fools who thought TPOL was done blogging? (see I Quit Blogging). It’s been ten years of blogging (see TPOL Is Ten And #MasterOfWon) and, for some reason, I still receive unsolicited advice on how to write my blog or how I am supposed to travel. It’s been ten years and somehow I can’t resist the urge to engage with the fools. But this is a post about the highlights from March 2024, so I’ll keep it positive by revealing the best. Here they are:
It was an indescribable feeling to walk around Baghdad. The personal history, the media’s portrayal, and what it is now all came together and left me speechless.
Don’t stop the recklessness. That was my theme when I was in Tonga. First, I went swimming with whales. Then I thought I would push my luck by checking out an underground cave full of fresh water.
In the ultimate, big dick competition, “Officers were called on Monday night when more than 100 local sex workers converged on a hotel being used by sex workers from the Philippines on the city’s Sukhumvit Road, part of a sprawling area of gogo bars, street workers, and massage parlors.
I have spent ten years blogging (see TPOL Is Ten And #MasterOfWon). During that time, I have endured critical comments from many readers (see Happy Festivus! Airing of Points Grievances). Last week was the tipping point. After spending hours writing Baghdad, Iraq: Day 1 which no one read, I published Fiji Airways: Nadi to Samoa in Coach & $300 Delta Damaged Luggage Payment: Fair?. The comments were demoralizing. Regarding the Fiji post, one reader wrote, “Service? Comfort? I came here from Boarding Area where this looked like a relevant review…” I was heartbroken that the reader did not find my post to be up to standard. Another comment from a reader, “Sometime I genuinely am concerned for your welfare.” He noted, “I wouldn’t live my life the way he does.” This comment shook me to the core. Maybe I am a bumbling fool. Maybe I shouldn’t continue to embark on adventures with reckless abandonment.
If those comments weren’t bad enough, the comments regarding my damaged bag killed my spirit. “Exactly the type of person who’d use a fake rimowa… not even remotely surprised.” “You solicit your reader for input and respond with such derision as ‘the person who doesn’t travel that comments and hides in the basement.’ Insulting, to say the least. Do better.”
Unfortunately, I can’t ‘do better.’ I am who I am and write the way I do. But rather than subject myself to further criticism and rather than insult the discerning readers who come to my site, I have decided to quit blogging effectively immediately.
Sad to see me go?
April Fools! If you don’t like my blog, you can, in the words of Gordon Ramsay…
I submitted a claim to Delta and months later they offered me $300. I tried to negotiate for more because my tennis racket was damaged. I sent them a receipt for its repair. Since I did not have a photo of it damaged, they rejected my claim. Ultimately, I accepted the $300 and can’t say I am too upset about it. What do you think?
