Simply The Best: TPOL in 2019

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Happy New Year from your favorite travel blogger and world explorer. And Happy New Year from TPOL. 2019 is just about in the books, but that doesn’t mean I won’t dwell on all the ass-kicking I did this year. Here are the top posts from the year and one selected post per month:

Simply The Best: January 2019

Simply The Best: February 2019

Simply The Best: March 2019

Visiting Every Island in the Caribbean: TPOL’s Latest Trip Report

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The good news is that I haven’t been anywhere. The bad news is that I still need a yacht to get there in style.

Simply The Best: 5 Years of T-P-O-L

Richard Quest and I in Las Vegas
It’s been 5 years of great fun. Here’s to 50 more! Now get me back on CNN please. #letsgetafterit

Simply The Best: April 2019

Simply The Best: May 2019

Simply The Best: June 2019

Simply The Best: July 2019

Simply The Best: August 2019

Simply The Best: September 2019

Simply The Best: October 2019

Simply The Best: November 2019

Simply The Best: December 2019

Simply The Best: December 2019

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It’s December. Did you make the Festivus 2019 list? It’s the end of the year. Where are you celebrating (see Where to Party? New Year’s Eve)? It’s the end of the decade. Did you do anything meaningful? Neither did I. But here’s what I wrote about in December that was simply the best.

  1. Cyberbully? TPOL’s Puerto Rico Turkey Trot (2nd Edition)

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    Last year, I beat a sneaky runner who tried to sprint past me in the last second. I tried to reach out to him on Twitter this year to propose a rematch. He did not respond.
  2. Merry Christmas! But TPOL Finished 3rd in the Cart Parade

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    Folks, it’s Christmas. And when you live in a retirement golf community in Puerto Rico that means decking out your golf cart for the annual Cart Parade.
  3. TPOL’s Guide to Libations in Shanghai

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    This list should keep you happy and tipsy. I will update it the next time I am in Shanghai.
  4. Fabric Market Shanghai Prices: How to Bargain (2019 Edition)

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    I bought enough clothes to last me until my next expat trip. I came away knowing that when it comes to bargaining, I still got it.
  5. I Don’t Tip at Lounges Either

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    Who’s with me?
  6. Unhappy Upon Check In? Don’t Let Buyer’s Remorse Sink In

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    If you don’t like the room, don’t let buyer’s remorse sink in. When I saw the view from my room the next day, I had no regrets about my temper trantrum.
  7. Kenny G China: You Don’t Have to Go Home, But…

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    In China, what does the Fake Market, the Fabric Market, and the grocery store all have in common? The answer is closing time means Kenny G.

Kenny G China: You Don’t Have to Go Home, But…

Kenny G Shanghai is part of the TPOL in Shanghai Trip Report.


In China, what does the Fake Market, the Fabric Market, and the grocery store all have in common? The answer is closing time means Kenny G.

I didn’t notice it until I read the NYT article, China Says Goodbye in the Key of G: Kenny G, but the song Going Home is played in public places when it is time to go home. Apparently, Kenny didn’t know about it either. Once the same song comes on, it is time for customers to make their way to the check out counter, conclude last-minute price negotiations, and go home. In the Fabric Market, Kenny G is followed by all the lights going out. In the Fake Market, Kenny is the only time that the hustlers would rather close up shop than sell another piece of knock off. At his concerts in China, Kenny always plays it last. “I save it for last,” Kenny said, “because I don’t want everyone going home early.”

I am going to download Going Home for my house in Puerto Rico. That way when people come over, they will know that they don’t have to go home, but they gotta get the hell out of here.

a tv and bottles on a table
No words needed, Kenny G means get out.

TPOL’s Guide to Libations in Shanghai

Where to Drink in Shanghai is part of the TPOL in Shanghai Trip Report.


In 2016, I wrote TPOL’s Guide to A Night in Shanghai. Some things have changed, some places have closed, and some things are exactly the same.

Changes First

“All the drugs and whore houses are gone!” This was the answer by many of the expats I received when I asked what has changed. Interesting that this was the first response.

The truly sad news was the elimination of street BBQs. Word around town is that the crackdown came due to a lack of sanitary conditions. I never got sick once eating the delicious BBQ.

food on a cart with people sitting around it
Sadly this is gone.

Chinese Clubs

Club 88, located next to Kagen Teppanyaki, was closed last time I was in Shanghai. It was replaced by another club which is also closed. It’s sad to see the spiral stair venue stand vacant. It was also sad to see that my favorite club of years past, Richies in Fuxing Park, has been replaced by an office.

a building with a sign and a railing
Closed.
  • Le Baron: I heard this is a Chinese style club. But when I went to it, I was told it was list only.

Same Same, Not Different

  • Bar Rouge: The rooftop bar and club on The Bund is still there. It provides great views of Pudong (see World’s Greatest Skyline: The Best Views of Shanghai) but is still too pretentious for my taste.a group of people standing on a rooftop with a city skyline in the background
  • M1NT: My goal when I left Shanghai in 2010 was to return to Shanghai as an expat. It was supposed to happen in 2012 when I started working at General Motors. Five months later I was fired, so that did not go as planned (buy my book, Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong . . . Including Mine, for those details). Nine years later, I returned to M1NT, ready to cash out on my overdue dream. Somewhere along the way I got old (see Without Technology TPOL’s the Creepy Old Guy in Shanghai) and found myself with no desire to pop bottles. I also was put off by stories that the sharks at M1NT were dying prematurely as a result of the bass. Concession protocol notwithstanding, M1NT is still a must-go while in Shanghai, but like Bar Rouge it has a crowd that is more obsessed with image than fun.sharks swimming in a tank a long tunnel with fish tanks and blue lights
  • La Social vs Revolucion Cocktail: I wasn’t a big fan of reggaeton before moving to Puerto Rico. It was only after hearing it abroad that I started to like it. Two places that play reggaeton and have Latin night are La Social and Revolucion. The former is way too crowded and is more of a bar than a club. The latter became my go-to place. There’s plenty of energy, great music, and awesome drinks. I purchased the camera cup that my drink came in for when I drink rum at home.a group of people standing outside a building
    a red light in a dark room
    Revolucion DJ.
    a group of people at a bar
    Revolucion is the best.

    a couple of camera lenses
    Souvenirs
  • Owner Circle: If it’s Monday and you are an alcoholic or disco diva, go to Owner Circle. It’s a decent club with good hip-hop.a building with a glass wall and a sign a urinal in a bathroom
  • ASL: ASL is a mini M1NT. I went there for ‘model’s night’. For those that aren’t familiar, clubs in China hire western people, generously called models, to come to their club and party. They are given free drinks and are supposed to contribute to the ambiance of the club. There are many attractive looking people in the group, but there are many who are hired simply because they are foreigners.
    • TPOL’s TIP: Asking them if they are hired because they are western and not because they are especially attractive will not result in new friends. Like Bar Rouge and M1NT, ASL’s patrons are more interested in themselves than getting hype.a neon sign with text and a heart a table with drinks and glasses on it
  • 83BANDS: This place is awful. What kind of club has carpet? I didn’t like it but many people swear by it.
  • Up: This is a rooftop bar. I didn’t go in because there was a cover, something that no one should pay anywhere, let alone Shanghai. I only include it in the list because right around the corner is the best beer store. I neglected to take a picture of the place and cannot tell you the name. However, I do have the GPS coordinates. a blue and white rectangular object with numbers

    a shelf with bottles of alcohol
    Could stay here all night.
  • Flair Rooftop at the Ritz Carlton: Come for a view of the Bund. Leave before spending 100RMB on drink after drink. Leave before you’re stuck in Pudong at night as taxis, even DiDis are hard to come by. a tall tower with a round tower in the middle of a city

Bars

Sometimes you don’t want a club. Sometimes you want a drink. Here are my suggestions:

  • Best Dive Bar: Windows
    • Windows is still open in two locations but Windows Too Jing’an is closed. That was my favorite.a sign on a building
  • Sunday Funday: 
  • Great Happy Hour: Barbarossa
    • Barbarossa is good for happy hour. It’s Moroccan themed and popular among expats.a building with a tower and a pond with lily pads a bar with pink lamps
  • Perfect Mixologist: Sober Society
    • If you’re tired of slamming vodka sodas head to Sober Society. There are all sorts of crazy cocktails there. a neon sign with a glass of wineIt has an interesting ambiance. a dark hallway with urinalsI had to try the champagne piña coladas to see if it would make the Top Piña Coladas on Earth. It was a novel idea but it flopped on flavor and on price. For $25, I expected more.a menu with black text a man pouring a drink into a glass There are drinks based on the zodiac sign. a menu with black text a menu on a tableThe rabbit, aka the bloody mary, was so good. I could drink a dozen. a glass with a drink and a cracker on topa glass with a drink and ice cube in itThe most novel was the ox. Look at the presentation:a person sitting at a table with a leather shoe on it a glass of liquid on a tableAnother good one was the rooster which came with a miso egg. a glass with a drink in it
  • Upscale Perfection: Long Bar at the Waldorf Astoria
    • Long Bar: The nicest bar I have visited in Shanghai is the Long Bar at the Waldorf Astoria (see It’s an Institution Sir, for the full review). It’s a bit pricey but the live jazz and solid negroni were worth documenting.a bar with a person sitting at the bar a menu with text on it a group of bowls of food on a counter a glass of drink on a table

Overall

This list should keep you happy and tipsy. I will update it the next time I am in Shanghai.


Where to Drink Shanghai is part of the TPOL in Shanghai Trip Report.

Merry Christmas! But TPOL Finished 3rd in the Cart Parade

Folks, it’s Christmas. And when you live in a retirement golf community in Puerto Rico that means decking your golf cart for the annual Cart Parade. The winner received dinner for ten. We placed third. There definitely was collusion. I suspect the winners were withholding aid in order to secure the top prize. Nevertheless, it was a great time. Here are some pics from the event:

a golf cart decorated with tinsel and garlands

a golf cart decorated with christmas decorations

a stuffed animal on a golf cart

a man standing next to a golf cart with a stuffed animal

a road with palm trees and a car on it

a group of golf carts decorated with lights

a group of people in striped pajamas with lights
This family of convict clauses stole the first prize.
a group of golf carts decorated with lights
Only one cart with red rims and LEDS. #wethebest #retirementlife

Merry Christmas,

TPOL

a golf cart with decorations on it
Postcard from PR

Yu Garden Shanghai: Only Go for the Dumplings

Yu Garden Shanghai is part of the TPOL in Shanghai Trip Report.


There I was, in the middle of Chinatown, only this wasn’t San Francisco, New York, or Seattle. This was Chinatown, Shanghai.

a building with a roof
If you haven’t been to Shanghai, this is what you might think it looks like.

Yu Garden is a bad version of the Medina in Marrakech (see Medina, Marrakech: Lost in the Labyrinth). It is a compound built to look like what tourists expect China to look like. The ruse would be difficult to spot but for the presence of every conceivable American franchise.

a building with many pagodas on the top
Look authentic until you see…

a street with a sign and buildings

Avoid the finger-licking good temptation, other Western junk foods, and the few English speakers who hound you to buy bags or watches. There’s a higher purpose for your journey to Yu Garden.

a group of people outside of a building
Starbucks from the Ming Dynasty

a group of people walking on a sidewalka group of people walking in a streetKFC and Haagen Daz do serve one important purpose. They are landmarks next to a dumpling joint in Shanghai. While Yang’s and random street spots (see Street Food Shanghai: Morning, Day, Night, Morning Again) are my favorites for xiao long bao, this place is perfect for steamed dumplings, especially if you’re staying at the adjacent Renaissance Yu Garden.a group of people standing in a line outside a building

Day or night, you will find a line. I can’t assume that the people in line are Shanghai locals just because they are Chinese, but I can say the line is not full of Western tourists. Working under the assumption that Chinese people know dumplings better than I do, the long line is an endorsement of the quality of the place.

a group of people in a kitchen
Freshness being made.

Regardless of the patrons, the dumplings speak for themselves. They come out fresh every few minutes. Be sure to secure your place at the serving window as the hunger of the crowd can cause them to overlook their line minding manners.

a man in a uniform holding a paper in a basket
Stay close to the pick-up counter.

a group of people in a room

Having thrown some delicate elbows, I went to the vinegar dispenser and found a place to enjoy my morning/afternoon/evening snack. The one problem with extra fresh dumplings is that they are too hot to eat. It’s torture waiting for them to cool down. Once they do, they are consumed in seconds, which is sort of sad given the amount of time and effort it takes for them to be made.a silver and glass container with a lid a bowl of dumplings on a plate

The remedy for this temporary sadness is to brave the process again and go for round two.

TPOL’s TIP: Unless you crave that fish taste, I would avoid the crab meat dumpling. If you do get it, poke a hole in it with a spoon and suck out the soup first.a plate of food with chopsticks on it

Overall

Yu Garden is a tourist trap. But for the dumplings, I would advise that you stay away.

Fake Market Shanghai: 2019 Pricing Guide

Fake Market Shanghai is part of the TPOL in Shanghai Trip Report.


The days of going to the fake market at Chengdu Lu and Nanjing Xi Lu are over. Shanghai has cleaned up its act, at least in the main tourist areas. That location used to have story after story and shop after shop of fake goodies. Now, it is a legitimate business place.

Don’t worry, you can still find the replicas of your favorite brand names. They’re still in the basement of the Shanghai Natural History Museum’s metro station. Maybe it’s the lack of supply that explains why rock bottom prices are hard to come by, but the merchants’ appetite for engaging in the bargaining process has also disappeared (see TPOL’s Guide to Bargaining Abroad). That’s what used to make the experience fun.

I was repeatedly told not to come back by store owners after I gave my best price. I was also asked by one saleswoman if I wanted to go to the hospital. I didn’t know if that was a threat or if she was implying that I was crazy in response to the prices I suggested.

After spending two hours doing reconnaissance,  here’s the best I could do (accurate as of September 2019):

Men’s designer casual gym shoes: 80RMB ($11.41), up from 40-50RMB

Women’s day purse: 60RMB ($8.56)

Women’s designer casual gym shoes: 60RMB

Nice women’s wallet: 130RMB ($18.55)

Designer belt: 40RMB ($5.71)

Bathing suit: 30RMB ($4.28)

Designer tee shirt: 50RMB ($7.13). Tourist tee shirts still cost 20-25RMB

Women’s designer shoes: 90RMB ($12.84)

Men’s designer loafers: 225RMB ($17.84), too much for me. It used to be 100RMB ($14.27)

TPOL’s TIP: If you’re interested in tailored clothes, see my Fabric Market Shanghai: How to Bargain (2019 Edition).

Overall

I never liked this location. They weren’t particularly friendly before and are less willing to engage in negotiations. Still, if you need some gear that you can use and abuse, this place serves that purpose.

a display of shoes on shelves
‘Leisure Sports Shoes’

Fake Market Shanghai is part of the TPOL in Shanghai Trip Report.

Fabric Market Shanghai Prices: How to Bargain (2019 Edition)

Fabric Market Shanghai Prices is part of the TPOL in Shanghai Trip Report.


Disclaimer: If you click on my Bluffworks affiliate link and buy something, I get paid. 


Who’s the flyest Arab you know? The answer is TPOL. While I stay looking good thanks to blog affiliate Bluffworks (see Bluffworks: 30,000 Miles Later, How I Showed Up Wrinkle Free to NYC), I require a full wardrobe of attire to stay fresh. And the best place to get said attire is at the Fabric Market in Shanghai. I wrote about it previously (see TPOL’s Guide to Bargaining Abroad) but have an update for 2019.

I have been coming to the same tailor since 2009. The suits last forever and the wrinkle-free shirts can’t be beaten. Ten years later, I still have to bargain to get the 朋友 price. They tried to say that the prices of old were now impossible, but you know I wasn’t buying that. Here’s what I paid and the delta. The initial prices were at least 50 percent more if not double. Here are the Fabric Market Shanghai 2019 prices:

  • Pants: 200RMB, $28 (same)a pile of clothes on a table
  • Suit: 500RMB, $71 (same)

    a mannequins with suits and ties
    I bought the one on the left, among others.
  • Suit with interior lining: 600RMB, $85 (First time, not sure lining should be 100RMB more but maybe next time I’ll say 550RMB).
  • Tuxedo: 700RMB, $100 (paid 200RMB more but this one is fancier! I think 600RMB would be more appropriate).
  • 3 Sportcoats linen: 1100RMB, $52/coat  (first time and my favorite)

    a man taking a selfie
    Bluffworks shirt underneath
  • Wrinkle Free White Shirts: 100RMB, $14 (same)
  • Pattern shirt: 110RMB, $15 (10RMB more) I think this is nonsense because I never paid more for patterns before. I won’t budget next time. a stack of clothes in plastic bags a group of clothes on a swinger
  • Tailored ties: 33.3RMB, $4.75. Silk ties should be 10RMB, $1.43. These are ties made from the same fabric as my shirts. And they are beautiful.

    a group of ties on a rack
    One is authentic Versace, not tailored. Can you spot it?

Overall

I bought enough clothes to last me until my next expat trip. I came away knowing that when it comes to bargaining, I still got it and I think they still like me (contrast my Fake Market post 2019 Edition where I was not welcomed). They seem to get a kick out of my bargaining style. When I brought up freshly purchased suitcases to pack my clothes, they were in awe that I only paid 230RMB for two giant ones. Obviously, the tailor must make some money off of me. Otherwise, they would say 不行 and leave me naked.

a group of people in a clothing store
Look at my face. You know I’m not falling for the banana in the tailpipe.

TPOL’S TIP: Don’t fall for the ‘really no profit line’. They’ll respect you for it.

a man and woman standing next to luggage
Fun with the tie lady and my great new suitcases.

TPOL’s TIP: Fabric Market Shanghai is located at 399 Lujiabang Lu. Take DiDi to get there.a building with a sign on it

TPOL’s TIP: My tailor is #261. Show them a picture of me for your entertainment. Let me know if you receive a better price than I did.

a group of people in a clothing store
The whole crew.

TPOL’s TIP: Always better to get tailored stuff made at your fattest. It will motivate you to get in shape.

a man holding a suitcase standing on a street
Fits better post dumplings and post chicken and broccoli.

For female reader’s here are the prices I negotiated for Ms. TPOL. I haven’t done enough reconnaissance to say they are rock bottom, but I believe they are very good.

  • Trench coat: 500RMB
  • Shirt: 100-150RMB depending on the style
  • Pants/Shorts: 160RMB, $23
  • Professional dress: 400RMB, $57
  • Blazer: 400RMB

Fabric Market Shanghai Prices is part of the TPOL in Shanghai Trip Report.

 

I Don’t Tip at Lounges Either

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Tipping has been a hot issue since I wrote about how I refuse to tip Uber drivers.

A typical night of cocktails usually results in a $100 bill. What is the proper tip for that bill? 20%? 15? 0%? I went with 20% because of the tequila. On my 5 AM flight the next day, I was wondering if that was a good decision (the tequila, not the tip).

En route to my destination, I stopped at the airport lounge. Usually, I have more than one drink and have never left a tip. First, I never carry cash so the drunk impulse to leave gratuity does not overtake my sensibilities. Second, the point of the lounge is to bypass the exorbitant airport prices. Finally, my lounge access is due to my credit card’s annual fee which is at least $450 depending on the card.

I don’t feel bad for not tipping, and most of the time the bartenders do not care. The only time I had an issue was in the Delta Sky Club Atlanta in the international terminal. There, the bartender, tired of my orders, said, “What, no tip?”

Who’s with me?

a red awning over a building
Here’s TPOL’s TIP: Go outside in ATL’s Delta Sky Club

Kagen Teppanyaki: Everything, I Mean Everything Is Included

Best Teppanyaki Shanghai is part of the TPOL in Shanghai Trip Report.


There was a time when teppanyaki was only 100RMB ($14) in Shanghai. It included beer, sushi, and more meat than you can imagine. Those days are gone, luckily. I say luckily because no one should eat teppanyaki unlimited more than once in his or her life. It’s too much food. I have the pictures to prove it:

Dipping Sauces

a plate with chopsticks on a table
Ready?
a plate with different sauces and chopsticks on a table
Started out peaceful

Drinks 

Beer and sake is not less filling. a bottle of sake and two cups of beer

Sushi

Quality sashimi and rolls. a plate of raw fish on a table a plate of sushi on a table

Egg

Should’ve passed on this.

an egg shell on a stand
Still a nice photo

Fried Rice 

Not my favorite. a bowl of rice with chopsticks

Meat 

I tried everything. a man in a chef's uniform pouring a salt into a plate of meat a plate of food on a table a food on a plate a plate of food with meat and mushrooms a plate of food on a table

Ordering More 

I ordered too much, but I refuse to let food go to waste. I powered through and kept eating.

a plate of meat and sushi

Dessert 

Nothing like chocolate ice cream to validate my efforts. a bowl of ice cream with a spoon

Bill 

It was 716RMB ($100) for two people. It was worth it. a receipt in a leather case

Overall

This was a great meal. The extras like fried rice and egg are unnecessary and take up space. Stick to the Arby’s strategy. Stick to the meats.

TPOL’s TIP: If you have room afterwards, head next door to the row of bars including Cantina Agave (see Sunday Funday Shanghai: An Expat Timeout).

TPOL’s TIP: Kagen Teppanyaki is located at 28 Taojiang Rd, Xuhui.

TPOL’s TIP: Make reservations ahead of time using Chope.


Best Teppanyaki Shanghai is part of the TPOL in Shanghai Trip Report.