I’ll give it to Hyatt, they are being creative in ‘these uncertain times,’ a phrase that is overused. Their first bold move was cutting Globalist status, a topic that has been over-analyzed on every.single.blog, including mine (see Becoming Hyatt Globalist Again: TPOL’s Masterpiece Strategy). Their next idea was the introduction of “Office for a Day.” Unlike Marriott, where someone can book a workspace, this is an actual room for 12 hours. Besides those seeking status, who else is actually going to book a room by the hour?
When I read that rates started at $65, I instantly thought of The Deuce on HBO. I then thought of inter-office romances and affairs and the excuses that would follow when the promiscuous party was caught – “But honey, I was just doing it to maintain our status. You don’t actually want to pay for breakfast at Park Hyatt Paris-Vendome, do you?”
Anyone else find humor in this ploy to drive revenue? Or am I the only one with a sordid mind?
What perks come with Globalist status in the Red Light District?
“Out of an abundance of caution” is a euphemism for, “we screwed up, how can we save face”. Michigan screwed up by playing college football this year (see Sorry Harbaugh, College Football Should Be Cancelled). While I originally said they should not play due to Covid, it turns out that they should not play because they are downright awful. The coaches opted out of the season after beating Minnesota. Can you believe there were talks of a national championship after that game?
This week Michigan was supposed to lose to Maryland but due to Covid was forced to cancel that game. That leaves the final game against Ohio State, an inevitable beat-down that can only be stopped by using Covid again as an excuse. Kirk Herbstreit took heat for saying it, but I happen to agree.
Ohio State cheats all the time (see Buckeyes Wolverines: Fourth & Short). It’s time for Michigan to get on their level. As LaDainian Tomlinson once said, “If you ain’t cheatin, you ain’t tryin.” It may not be the classiest move, but at least it will prevent Ohio State from going to the Big Ten Championship Game and their predictable meltdown on the BCS stage. Such a bold move by Michigan would bring fire back to what used to be a rivalry. It reminds me of my beloved Pistons who walked off the floor after finally succumbing to the Bulls.
Actually, what I meant to say is that the game should be cancelled out of an abundance of caution for our players’ safety.
It was only a matter of time until the revaluation took place. With the economy frozen and TPOL grounded (see The Covid Trip Report), companies are beginning to do anything they can to inspire travel. Whether it is huge credit card bonuses (see JetBlue 100k Business Card App: The Wait Begins) or extending status, incentives are percolating. This brings me to Hyatt which announced the 2021 version of the Hyatt Diamond Challenge where I have to stay 30 nights to reattain Globalist status (see That’s Me in the Corner Losing My Globalist Status). 25 used to be the magic number before Hyatt made it next to impossible for people like myself to qualify by moving it up to 60 nights (see Chasing Status in 2020: A Worthless Pursuit?, written January 2nd before Covid). While 30 would be manageable over a year, Hyatt has made it easy in 3 ways.
5 nights towards status simply by having the World of Hyatt Credit Card.
Double qualifying nights towards status for all stays in January and February 2021.
25% rebate on points redemptions during those months.
Unfortunately, reaching Globalist doesn’t automatically come with Diamond Suite Upgrades like the old days. More stays are required to unlock those and other perks.
The question is how far will I go and how I will get there.
Let’s start with the first milestone: achieving 30 nights. I could stay at a Category 1 for 13 nights which would cost 48,750 points (5k*13=65k points minus .25*65k=16,250 rebate). This would give me 26 nights plus the five nights from the card.
Is this a good deal? If so, is it worth pushing it to 40 nights? For me, the answer is no and no. I do not like that I am throwing away 48,750 points for a mattress run to begin with and the extra perks aren’t inspiring.
I am willing to apply my current Hyatt balance of 30k towards this endeavor because I would’ve burnt them in 2020. Contrast those points with MRs and URs that I prefer to use towards flights.
Assuming I used the 30k points, I would be at 17 nights earned, leaving another 13. That’s still a ways to go to reach Globalist. To bridge the gap, I would spend 15k on my World of Hyatt Credit card. Every 5k spent results in 2 nights towards status. Not only does this bring me to 7 nights remaining but also I would receive a certificate for a Category 1-4 free stay.
Still, 7 nights requires a little bit of work to achieve, not to mention that those 7 nights would be at the Discoverist level. The solution is to transfer 5k points from Chase and stay one more night in a Category 1 before the end of February 2020, leaving me with 5 nights before Globalist.
For those nights, I will parlay my 4 Club Access Awards and my sob story about how close I am to reaching Globalist into a room upgrade, if not a suite upgrade.* For one of those 5 nights I will be using my stay certificate. For the remaining 4, I wouldn’t mind transferring URs because it’s for vacation, not for a mattress run.
*Charm is required to make this plan work. Sorry Gene, leave it to FCQ for this step.
Total Cost
35k points of which 25% is refunded: 8,750 balance
15k spend which is 1x points per dollar spent on daily purchases and 2x on restaurants. Assume I average $500 a month going out to eat: 12000 points + 9000= 21k earned
Resulting Balance: 29,750
That number should look familiar. It’s the 30k I originally had in my account.
Overall
The credit card gives me 5 stays: 30-5=25
The mattress run will be for 6 nights giving me 12 stays: 25-12=13
One night stand mattress run gives me 2 more nights: 13-2=11
The 15k credit card spend of 15k gives me 6 stays: 11-6=5
A free stay certificate gives me another night: 5-1=4
I was so excited when I received the email that I had a gift waiting for me from American Airlines. What could it be?
I logged in.
I clicked.
I found.
I received this.
My miles were set to expire in May 2021 so I’ll take this over buying a magazine subscription. Alternatively, AA could get rid of the pointless policy of having my points expire.
One more month to go and this shit may be over (see Give Me the Vaccine And Put Me on a 737 MAX). I’ve tried to be upbeat but enough already. The best thing to come out of this month was the election results, no doubt thanks to TPOL’s Endorsement. Second to that are these posts:
Year of the Monkey Trip Report which covers the following places: New York, New York Bangkok, Thailand Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia Jakarta, Indonesia Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia Guangzhou, China Hong Kong Shenzhen, China Sanya, China
TPOL’s Guns & Butter Travel Guide is the best way to see as much as you can in as little time as possible. Here’s how it works – A trip is composed of two factors: Labor And Lazy. The opportunity cost (what is given up) for relaxing and being Lazy is gained by being adventurous in the form of Labor and vice versa. The guide includes inefficient activities i.e., tourist traps that should be avoided and aspirational activities that are worth doing but may be impossible to see given the constraints of time and resources.
When I arrived in Moscow, I expected it to be dark and gloomy with ugly buildings like Mongolia. I found the opposite. The streets were wide, the buildings were beautiful, and the city was inviting.
My first night I went to Cafe Pushkin, a Moscow institution, and ordered Russian classics (though there is a debate about who can claim borscht).
The second night I went to Bolshoi for caviar and rabbit.
From meal to meal, I stopped at various restaurants and cafes for espresso, burgers, and sushi.
TPOL’s TIP: Bosco is located at Red Square, 3, Moscow, Russia, 109012. It has no affiliation with George Costanza.
TPOL’s TIP: Bar BQ Cafe is located at ulitsa Pyatnitskaya 25 стр1д, Moscow, Russia, 115035 and is open 24 hours.
Drink
As expected there are many pubs along the pedestrian streets. Stop wherever you see fit.
I did go to the Hotel Peking for a rooftop bar. I’ll never understand the fascination with rooftop bars. I was good for a few photos and then it was time to move on.
TPOL’s TIP: Hotel Peking is located at Bol’shaya Sadovaya Ulitsa, 5, Moscow, Russia, 123001.
Avoid
It was a Wednesday night and I couldn’t believe that there were no bars open. I settled for the international tourist trap of buddha-bar. In fairness, they made good cocktails.
Double Avoid
Avoid the man in the pedestrian street who has chickens and asks if you want to take a picture. If you refuse to pay, he threatens to have sex in your mouth. Erasing the photo also works.
Sleep
While I was curious as to how Moscow would look like in person, I was confident that my hotel choices would be up to international standards. Both the Park Hyatt and St. Regis exceeded my expectations.
I’ve been everywhere. You’ve been everywhere. I’m not going anywhere. You’re not going anywhere. Let’s do this like SportsCenter and rank the best cities I’ve visited out of the 100 largest cities in the world.
But first, here is a list of the biggest cities I have not visited. There aren’t any on there that I am especially interested in visiting besides Baghdad (see I Don’t Want to Visit Every Country). Also, going to the airport doesn’t count.
Now for the places that I have visited. I have them in order of my split-second reaction of what memories came to mind from each place. Click to see what I did when I was there.
Covid has taken away our right to privacy. And I’m not talking about lockdowns (see Puerto Rico’s Coronavirus Crackdown: Justified Or Unconstitutional?). I’m talking, once again, about Zoom calls. Recall how great life was when phone calls were replaced by emails? And how phone calls were only used in case of emergency? Now, inexplicably, matters that had to be handled by an annoying phone conversation are needlessly conducted over Zoom. This intrusion means that I have to actually wear clothes (see Let’s Zoom Naked), be in a locale that somewhat resembles an office, and appear as if I have an interest in what we are discussing.
While I understand that many people are lonely during this time and need some human interaction, that is not the case for all of us. One day we will go back to traveling, we won’t want to Zoom from Yangon, and we will regret making it normal to do so.
#STOPTHESTEAL of my purposeful isolation. Social distancing applies digitally as well.
