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Simply The Best: December 2020

Dare I mention 2020? I do but only to point out the best posts from that month.

  1. Becoming Hyatt Globalist Again: TPOL’s Masterpiece Strategy

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    Life will be normal in 2022.
  2. NYC Twice: A Recap of My 2020 Travels

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    Life will be normal in 2022.
  3. COVID 2020: TPOL’s Most Productive Year

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    Life will be normal in 2022 but buy my book today.
  4. Google Timeline: An Invasive But Useful (Self) Spy Tool

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    Life will be normal in 2022.
  5. Ra ra Rasputin: Visiting Yusupov Palace in St. Petersburg

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    Ra ra Rasputin Russia’s greatest love machine
  6. Shashlik in St. Petersburg

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    Looking to relive the glory days of good eating, I went to Baklajhan, an Uzbek restaurant in St. Petersburg.
  7. Grand Hotel Europe St. Petersburg: Vodka + Caviar + Birthplace of Beef Stroganoff

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    I challenge you to have a more upscale evening in your life.

 

 

Merry Christmas from TPOL

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TPOL’s back on vacation (see TPOL’s Vacation Post Policy) but wanted to let you know that I still care. a golf bag full of golf clubs

Merry Christmas,

TPOL

Simply The Worst: December 2020

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The shit’s almost over. I’m talking about the year, not the pandemic. Here are the COVID related posts from December that are part of the lonely Lost & Found Year(s) Trip Report. Note the (s). How long will this last? Santa deliver me Moderna or Pfizer, either is fine.

  1. COVID 2020: TPOL’s Most Productive Year

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    All I need in this life of sin is me and my golf cart.
  2. NYC Twice: A Recap of My 2020 Travels

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    Sittin’ on the dock of the bay…
  3. Bored at Home? Read a (My) Book

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    Read it, review it, live it!
  4. Cancelled! Festivus 2020

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    Can we finally say it? We aren’t in this together.
  5. How to End Zoom Meetings: Ocean View + Cologne

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    I hope it’s freezing where you are!
  6. No Alcohol Sales on the Weekend, No Golf on Sunday: Another Stupid Lockdown Measure

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    The beach is still full on the weekends. Everyone is obviously exercising. #stupidgovernment #stupidorders
  7. Out of an Abundance of Caution, Michigan Should Cancel the Season

    The book of Revelation describes the end of days where good will battle evil once and for all. A glimpse of this fight will take place on November 26, 2016 when the hopefully undefeated Wolverines will take on a hopefully undefeated Buckeyes team in Columbus, Ohio.
    My plan to sabotage the Buckeyes didn’t work. I’m sure Clemson will Roll on them.
  8. Turkey Run 2020: Race Results
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Plump turkey needs to get after it in 2021.

 

 

NYC Twice: A Recap of My 2020 Travels

NYC Twice is part of The Lost & Found Year(s) Trip Report.


Each year I’m supposed to update my Where to Party? New Year’s Eve list, which for twenty years in a row featured a new city. This year I will be going nowhere. In fact, this year I will be in the exact same spot as last year.

fireworks in the sky
Only this year, I don’t expect there to be any fireworks.

In terms of travel, I accomplished nothing. I went to New York twice in January and did not add a new country, island, or territory to my Country Count (see Is Hawaii a Country?). That is depressing but for the fact that I have accomplished so much this year (see COVID 2020: TPOL’s Most Productive Year). The reason I wrote this post is to remind everyone including myself how much I used to do and to prepare myself for what I am about to do (see Punxsutawney TPOL: Leaving My Basement Trip Report). Staying at home, despite the gains that I made, is no way to live.

There’s no better way to demonstrate how immobile I have been than by reviewing the directory of Trip Reports.

2020

The Lost & Found Year(s): Covid Trip Report

2019

TPOL in Shanghai (August)

ANA, Take Me ‘Round The World (August)

Rum Rum Caribbean Castaway (November)

TPOL Won’t Visit All 50 States (October)

TPOL in Canada (June)

Freddie Awards to New Orleans Binge Weekend (April)

Rum Rum Caribbean Castaway (March)

2018

TPOL Down Under (December) 

#NoCollusion No Albania for TPOL (August)

Despacito! TPOL Moves to Puerto Rico (June 26) & Expat in Puerto Rico

2017

TPOL in the Desert (December 9th)

Ohio State v. Michigan (November)

South America & Africa Points Heist (September)

Jerry World (August)

Round the Atlantic Tour (April)

Final Four San Antonio (April)

Detour in Mexico (March)

2016

The Year of the Monkey (December)

Michigan v. Ohio State (November)

Quest Around The Globe (August)

Whose Land? Iceland (June)

Tahiti Triumph (May)

2015

The Citrus Bowl (December)

TPOL in NYC (December 9th)

The Athens Marathon: The Original Course (November)

Southwest Companion Pass III (August)

Southwest Companion Pass II (April)

New York, New York, New York (March)

2014

So Long Mongolia, Hello SE Asia (December)

The Visa Run Through Asia (October)

Miserable Mongolia (August 1st)

Into the Cold, The Move to Mongolia (July)

A Trip to the Far East in Style (June)

30 Minutes to Costa Rica (May)

2013

The $77,000 Trip Heard Round the World (December)

Southwest Companion Pass I (August-November)

Steak And Malbec: Argentina in Style (August)

Final Four 4 Free (April)

RTW Dividends From the Geographically Challenged (March)

Beer & BBQ (February)

  • Nashville, Tennessee

2012

Losing My Points Virginity (December)

Alaska Marathon (August)

Never Too Old for Spring Break (March) 

2011

The Sugar Bowl: Celebrating Brady Hoke (December)

“You’re Fired!” Guess I’ll Go To Eastern Europe (June)

  • Amsterdam, Netherlands
  • Vienna, Austria
  • Bratislava, Slovakia
  • Bucharest, Romania
  • Sunny Beach, Bulgaria
  • Belgrade, Serbia
  • Budva, Montenegro
  • Kotor, Montenegro
  • Mostar, Bosnia
  • Split, Croatia
  • Hvar, Croatia
  • Ibiza, Spain
  • Barcelona, Spain

2010

Don’t Leave Cartagena for Panama (December)

Broke Expat in Shanghai (May-September)

Touring the Culinary Scene in Asia (January)

2009

MBA in Travel & Tourism Part II (August 2009-January 2010)

The MBA in Travel & Tourism Part I (Dec 2008-May 2009)

2008

Rio Carnaval (February)

1998-2007

The New Year’s Roll Call

 

COVID 2020: TPOL’s Most Productive Year

Disclaimer: If you click on my affiliate links, you may buy something awesome and I will get paid. 


Travel is rewarding. A wise man once said, “International travel will teach you more about business, politics, and law than all the degrees combined.” That man was Alexander The Author, better known to you as TPOL. After many years of changing the title, I finally went back to the original, perfect title and republished my book this year (see Bored at Home?). Buy Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong . . .  Including Mine

a laptop on a desk with a pen and a notebook on the table

Travel is also a major distraction. Goals are put aside for the easy reward of new explorations. This year I had no choice but to stay home and in the words of the late Herman Cain, “reassess and reevaluate,” what I was doing. The first step was to figure out how I was going to stay and get fit on lockdown. I purchased everything such that I’d never have to go to a gym again (see TPOL’s Travel & Fitness Intro). And it worked (see No Turkey Trot This Year, But Still Thankful for Trolling).

a golf cart parked on a beach

a group of bags on a beach

TIP TPOL: Visit AusterFit to replace those tired TRX ropes.

TIP TPOL: Purchase the Meister 50lb bag

Despite my aversion to Zoom, I also continued to fight the good fight against evil corporations (visit Bachuwa Law if you have a consumer dispute).

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It’s your attorney calling.

Back to things that matter, my golf game improved dramatically and literally overnight. No one told me that jumbo grip could make a revolutionary difference. These jambo hands as I call them, were previously out there using children’s equipment. Now, I challenge anyone for longest drive.

a hand holding a golf club
#jambogrip #jambo

I’ve also taken on a new venture where I strive to bring some Arab flavor to the game of golf. Get in on the ground level and follow IQ Khameleon on IG.

two men posing for a picture

Overall 

Despite the crazy lockdown measures (see No Alcohol Sales on the Weekend, No Golf on Sunday: Another Stupid Lockdown Measure) that will continue into next year, I have preserved my mental sanity by establishing a daily routine that still included blogging and being innovative with how I kept myself entertained (see TPOL The Polyglot: How To Learn Multiple Languages). 2020 was a tragic year for the world but brighter days are ahead. I’m glad I took advantage of the downtime to set up the next chapter of my life but pump that sweet vaccine into my veins and let’s get on with it (see Punxsutawney TPOL: Leaving My Basement Trip Report). I need the next ten years to be as rewarding as the last ten (see Happy New Year from TPOL: The Year & Hindsight Is 2020).

Ra ra Rasputin: Visiting Yusupov Palace in St. Petersburg

Yusupov Palace is part of the Quest Around the Globe Trip Report.


Inspired by Tetris, I went to Moscow. Inspired by Boney M., I went to St. Petersburg.

There are two things to see if you are intrigued by Rasputin, Russia’s version of Lam Drukpa Kuenley, The Wandering Madman of Bhutan. The first is Moika Palace itself.

a man leaning against a wall next to a body of water
The Moika River
a building with white pillars
The Palace

cars parked cars in front of Moika Palace

a room with gold and red curtains

a ceiling with gold trim and paintings a gold and red stage with a chandelier a gold and white ornate building a chandelier in a room with windows a room with a statue and a candelabra

The second is the basement where Rasputin was murdered.

TPOL’S TIP: Admission to the palace and to the basement are separate as are visiting hours.

Who Was Rasputin? 

There lived a certain man in Russia long ago
He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow
Most people looked at him with terror and with fear
But to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear
He could preach the Bible like a preacher
Full of ecstasy and fire
But he also was the kind of teacher
Women would desire

a man with a beard in a frame

But when his drinking and lusting
And his hunger for power
Became known to more and more people
The demands to do something
About this outrageous man
Became louder and louder

a group of people in a room
How many people are required for the crime of conspiracy?

a page of a book

The Setup 

Then one night some men of higher standing
Set a trap, they’re not to blame
“Come to visit us”, they kept demanding
And he really came
a door with a light fixture and a staircase
Trap door?
a wooden staircase with a wooden door
Shady winding staircase?

The Basement 

a light from the ceiling a cross on a stand in a room with chairs a room with a table and chairs a shelf with bottles and other objects

Dinner Time 
Ra ra Rasputin
Lover of the Russian queen
They put some poison into his wine
Ra ra Rasputin
Russia’s greatest love machine
He drank it all and said, “I feel fine”
a man and woman sitting at a table a group of people around a table
Gunshots Gunshots
Ra ra Rasputin
Lover of the Russian queen
They didn’t quit, they wanted his head
Ra ra Rasputin
Russia’s greatest love machine
And so they shot him ’til he was dead

a framed picture of a man in a suit

a close up of a paper
No mention of Boney M.

For such a clever man, I’m surprised he went to the meeting. I assume it was his arrogance that led him to fall for the trap combined with his inferiority complex. “They like me, they really like me!,” he must have thought when he went there.

Conclusion
Learning history can be fun. All it takes is a clever song, a ticket to Russia, and going to the right part of the museum.

Bored at Home? Read a (My) Book

Unless you’re taking drugs and playing chess on the ceiling, chances are high that you have run out of things to do. I am happy to announce that the latest edition of my book, Everyone’s Advice Is Wrong . . . Including Mine is on the virtual bookshelf, just in time for another round of lockdowns! So if you hate your current job because of too much Zoom (see How to End Zoom Meetings: Ocean View + Cologne) or you really can’t imagine going back to the office, pick up a copy of this timeless sensation. It was written six years ago and the words ring truer than ever.

a laptop on a desk with a pen and a notebook on the table

CLICK HERE TO BUY! CLICK HERE TO BUY! CLICK HERE TO BUY! CLICK HERE TO BUY! CLICK HERE TO BUY! CLICK HERE TO BUY! CLICK HERE TO BUY! CLICK HERE TO BUY! CLICK HERE TO BUY! CLICK HERE TO BUY! CLICK HERE TO BUY! CLICK HERE TO BUY! CLICK HERE TO BUY! CLICK HERE TO BUY! CLICK HERE TO BUY! CLICK HERE TO BUY! 

Cancelled! Festivus 2020

I used to say Happy Festivus! Then I would detail all the ways that airlines, hotel chains, credit card companies, bloggers, and commentators have disappointed me over the last year (see 201520162017, 2018, & 2019) This year we all have plenty to complain about (see Covid Trip Report). This year I have only taken four flights, two round trips to New York, both in January. This year the airlines haven’t been as shitty (see Thank You American Airlines: Coronavirus Waiver), except for Frontier (see Frontier Airlines: The Covid Super Spreader for Puerto Rico). This year hotels, albeit because they are desperate, have offered great promotions (see Becoming Hyatt Globalist Again: TPOL’s Masterpiece Strategy). This year I didn’t apply for many credit cards, but I did receive some decent retention offers (see Keep Vs. Cancel: Amex Business Gold). This year travel bloggers have tried to survive without travel (see What’s a Travel Blog Without Travel?). I commend everyone for sticking around.

This leads me to the commentators. Every year they have plenty to say. Every year they are roasted in good fun. This year the nastiness spilled out with ignorance on full display, and the levity was lost. This comment from February’s post 老码头火锅: Best Hot Pot Chengdu is a sad preview of the vitriol that was to come.

a screenshot of a chat

On February 26th, I wrote, Travel Or Stay Inside? TPOL’s Thoughts on Coronavirus where I said, “It seems like it is only a matter of time before this epidemic becomes a pandemic and hits the international community hard. Politics and blame must be put aside before coronavirus becomes more catastrophic than it already is. Until then, I am going to limit my travel as much as possible.” On March 6th I wrote, Thank You Delta: Coronavirus Waiver. Here was the reaction:

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a black text on a white backgrounda screenshot of a text message a white background with black text a white background with black text On March 12th I wrote Describe Trump’s Travel Ban: It’s Stupid in which I said:

“First, the virus is already here. Blaming Europe or China or space invaders by issuing a travel ban doesn’t solve the problem. Second, look at the Dow. Can you say calamity? Presidents are supposed to calm the markets, not set fire to them. Third, US citizens can still fly from Europe. Luckily, they won’t bring in coronavirus because they are American. The world needs collaboration. It doesn’t need fragmentation. The world needs pragmatism. It doesn’t need politics. The world needs a leader. It doesn’t need Trump.”

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On March 16th I wrote in Stop Going to the Bar Jerks!, “It is time to practice social distancing. It is not time to be a jerk and post photos on Instagram of you in a crowded place yelling lame shit like, ‘YOLO!'”

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On March 21st, I wrote my favorite post, Social Distance Yourself from Misinformation. “The President of the United States is a liar. Do not believe anything he says. Those who push his lies are just as awful. Do not listen to anything they say. Social distance yourself from those people.”

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a screenshot of a phonea black text on a white background April 16th I wrote Puerto Rico Flight Deal? Stay Away. This resulted in:

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April 23rd I wrote Do I Stay Or Do I Go? Thoughts on the Second Covid Wave. I said, “As a result of this pathetic spectacle and tragic debacle, I am considering a departure from the US in the early fall for a length of time to be determined.” It’s funny that I actually thought I could leave the US for Asia.

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On my Infected Tourists Are Coming to Puerto Rico I heard more from George.

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And from D who may tell a different story today.

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On July 14th it was back to stogieguy7 in the post, Sorry Harbaugh, College Football Should Be Cancelled. a black text on a white background

a black text on a white background a screenshot of a messageOn July 21st, I wrote, “Everyone should stay home or, at the least, stay away. You are not welcome here,” regarding Frontier’s fare sale to PR.

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October 23rd people were really upset that a travel blogger would talk politics (see TPOL Endorses Biden). It is like they have never read my blog before but still feel obligated to tell me that I am only allowed to talk about points.

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a black text on a white background

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a screenshot of a white text Wow, that was rough. If I were celebrating Festivus and this was the Feats of Strengths, I’d tap out to get away from this negativity. I’m optimistic that next year I can go back to writing above travel and people can go back to telling me how my reviews are worthless, my Pho posts are boring, or, more generally, how my blog sucks. That’s the type of constructive criticism that I enjoy. That’s the time when Festivus will return.

 

 

Shashlik in St. Petersburg

Uzbek Restaurant St. Petersburg is part of the Quest Around the Globe Trip Report.


Do you recall when TPOL lived in Mongolia? The work situation wasn’t ideal but the food situation was. One of my favorite restaurants was an Uzbek restaurant located at the ground floor of a condemned building. Day and night they would make shashlik on a BBQ that was on its last leg.

Looking to relive the glory days of good eating, I went to Baklajhan, an Uzbek restaurant in St. Petersburg. For a taste of Mongolian home, I ordered shashlik and a bottle of Georgian wine. No longer on a poor man’s budget, I sampled other dishes as well. The food was great as was the atmosphere.

a chandelier from a ceiling a shelf with bottles and jars on it a shelf with jars of food a group of people sitting at tables in a restaurant a glass of wine and a bottle a glass of wine next to a bottle a bowl of salad with tomatoes and cucumbers a bowl of food with green sprigs a pair of dumplings on a plate a plate of food with vegetables and meat

a plate of meatballs and vegetables
The shashlik

If you’re not in the mood for Uzbek cuisine, there are always alternatives.

a person in a space suit standing in front of a restaurant

TPOL’s TIP: Baklajhan is located in Galeria Mall at Ligovsky Ave, 30 А, St Petersburg, Russia, 191040.

 

Hyatt Points Received, But I Will Still Complain

Last week I wrote Stressed! Am I Going to Receive my 500 Hyatt Points? Tim commented, “Are you really stressed about 500 Hyatt points?” It’s apparent that not everyone gets or appreciates my dry humor. Today I am extra angry not because my points finally posted but because Hyatt completely ignored me on Twitter.
a screenshot of a social media post

Is it really that difficult to respond that the points will post in a week? Who are these delicate geniuses that decide whose inquiries they address and whose they choose to ignore? You can’t ignore me for much longer Hyatt, I’m about to be bootleg Globalist.